Lawyer Explains Why He Recommends 'Mandatory Hospice Volunteering' For Everyone When They Turn 18
New Africa | Shutterstock In an interview on Tom Bilyeu's podcast, "Impact Theory," divorce lawyer James Sexton shared how volunteering with hospice when he was 18 completely changed his life and outlook. It made such an impact that he thinks all teens should be mandated to do it.
The milestone of turning 18 can feel quite exciting. It's the official start of adulthood, and while you're still considered a teenager, the world definitely starts treating you differently. While there are many things freshly-turned 18-year-olds should try for the first time, Sexton's suggestion isn't one often thought of. However, understanding the cycle of life when you are just stepping into the world can put everything into perspective in a good way.
A lawyer recommends 'mandatory hospice volunteering' for everyone at 18.
While speaking with Bilyeu, Sexton explained that society has a way of making people forget that death is imminent for all of us. It's considered a taboo topic to speak about. We tend to push it out of any conversation because we don't want to confront that reality. The avoidance of talking about death shapes how people move through life, and it's often without that perspective.
"If you thought and internalized the fact that you're gonna die, you wouldn't pay attention to the meaningless [things] that keep the machines running," Sexton argued. "You would stop buying a lot of what they're selling. I think that we deny death because it's a great mystery we're terrified of, and we culturally just reaffirm it over and over by hiding it."
Sexton explained that when people turn 18, they should have to do a "year or two" of volunteering at a hospice. He insisted that if people spent time with terminally ill individuals, it would change their lives.
The lawyer recalled spending time as a hospice volunteer when he was a teen.
"It changed my entire way of viewing the world. Spend time with people who are dying. All of their stuff is a big pile of nothing," Sexton recalled. "All they can talk about is the people they love, the connections that they made, the experiences that they had that were beautiful or painful."
Sexton admitted that spending time in hospice care made everything that he was dealing with in his own life feel extremely unimportant. It would put things into perspective for him.
All of the drama that might've been happening in his life suddenly felt a lot smaller against the fact that people were facing death and living out their final days. It's hard to justify prioritizing things like power and money when eventually those things mean nothing.
Teens, especially, view themselves as immortal.
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Think of your own teen years for a moment. You're probably shaking your head at some of the silly risks. From drinking to excess to driving too fast, life doesn't hold the same fragility when you're young.
Gary L. Wenk, a Professor of Psychology & Neuroscience & Molecular Virology, Immunology, and Medical Genetics at the Ohio State University and Medical Center, explained, "I blame the feelings of immortality of teenagers on the fact that their frontal lobes are not fully working." Which is totally normal. At 18, the brain has not fully developed yet.
He went on to say, "Essentially, your frontal lobes tell you that it's a bad idea to drink alcohol and drive or to ignore the consequences of taking heroin. When your frontal lobes finally complete their process of myelination, they begin to work properly, and you stop doing dangerous things. Most importantly, you stop feeling immortal." That development is complete in women by 25 and in men by 30. But, as Wenk explained, "a 20-year-old female, although her brain is still myelinating, is closer to maturity than her 20-year-old boyfriend, who still has another 10 years before he can really appreciate the wisdom of warnings."
All that is to say that young people often forget that eventually life will catch up with them. They will grow up. They will eventually become the age of their parents and grandparents, even if it doesn't feel like it at the time. Facing one's mortality is a good lesson. Considering an estimated 41% of adults reported being afraid of their own death, while three in 10 said that this fear had affected their enjoyment of life, maybe spending time as a hospice volunteer could be beneficial at any age.
This advice isn't about scaring 18-year-olds, but instead giving them a lesson in living their lives for themselves. Being face-to-face with death shouldn't make life darker. Instead, it should make living life more intentional.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
