6 Kind Ways To Let Go Of Sentimental Things With Zero Guilt
Andrey Stakhovskiy | Unsplash Thinking about how to part with sentimental things or organize when I feel overwhelmed is almost self-defeating. My thoughts become cluttered with dire predictions of things that may — or may not — happen. The task grows more and more complicated in my mind until I become exhausted just contemplating it. I review the options in my head. That is overwhelming because there are always a lot of options. In Kate Varness’s book, Who Am I Now? Realign Your Home And Life, she talks about answering some questions.
She asks her readers to think about the problem at hand and to think about pain points. Varness reviews case studies, the problem facing the person, the pain of remaining the same, the pain of changing behaviors, and the benefits experienced from a change. The sections continue with visualizing success and action plans.
Visualizing success helped me because, in my case, the task I needed to do recently could not be avoided forever. So, I switched books and took the advice I read in Dr. Alicia Clark’s book, Hack Your Anxiety. Her advice is to make the thing that is creating your anxious thoughts work for you.
Put your nervous energy to work. Dr. Clark advocates paying attention to whatever the task or thought is that is creating the anxiety and dealing with it. I put my nervous energy to work figuring out how to get myself organized to complete the task, even with cluttered thoughts.
It turns out that the task that was making me feel overwhelmed was much more straightforward and easy to complete than I had anticipated. My cluttered thoughts had truly created a monster out of this task. Once I decided I was going to do it, I did some investigating online and realized that with a few clicks on my computer, I could put this task on the completed list. It took only 10 minutes.
Imagine that! I spent days feeling overwhelmed at the thought of doing this task. What a waste of time and energy! Instead of letting the feelings of overwhelm derail you from getting organized and letting go of sentimental items, you can try a few steps. They worked for me, and maybe they will for you, too.
Here are 6 kind ways let go of sentimental things with zero guilt:
1. First, breathe
Take a deep breath and acknowledge to yourself that you are feeling overwhelmed. It's completely normal to feel emotional when you're holding something that carries memories. Permit yourself to feel whatever comes up without judgment.
A review of 58 studies found that deep breathing exercises significantly reduce stress and anxiety by activating the parasympathetic nervous system, which triggers your body's natural relaxation response. Even brief breathing exercises improve your ability to process difficult feelings without becoming overwhelmed.
2. Find out where your guilt is coming from
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Write down on a piece of paper the task or project that is creating this feeling. Is it your grandmother's china, your children's baby clothes, or boxes of old cards and letters? Identifying exactly what's triggering your emotions helps you address the real source of resistance.
Researchers at the University of Texas discovered that when you externalize your worries onto paper, your brain processes information more effectively, and you gain clarity on what's actually causing your stress. Writing down specific stressors helps you stop ruminating and start problem-solving.
3. Make a concrete timeline
Do you have a deadline by which time this task must be completed? If so, write that down. Having a concrete timeline can actually reduce anxiety because it gives you a clear framework to work within.
Turns out deadlines actually reduce uncertainty rather than adding stress. Psychologists at Tel Aviv University found that knowing when something needs to be finished allows you to better allocate your time and mental energy, preventing the overwhelm that comes from endless, open-ended tasks.
4. Figure out the best way to approach it
Do you need to research to learn how to do this task? If so, assign a day and time to do the research. Knowing you have options beyond "keep it or trash it" can make the whole process feel less painful.
A study from Rutgers University showed that higher levels of planfulness, which include researching and strategizing how to approach tasks, predicted lower stress and better psychological well-being during challenging situations. Knowing your options ahead of time makes everything feel more manageable.
5. Assess how much time you need
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Based on your research, how much time do you think you need to dedicate to this task? From my experience, it could be much less time than you anticipate. You might find that making decisions becomes easier as you go, especially once you've found a rhythm.
Psychologists discovered what they called the "planning fallacy," where people consistently underestimate how long tasks will take by 30 to 50 percent. When people based their time estimates on how long similar tasks took in the past rather than best-case scenarios, their predictions became significantly more accurate, and they felt less overwhelmed.
6. Make time to actually let go
When will you start this task? Write the day and time down, and be accountable to yourself. I can tell you from personal experience that feeling overwhelmed because you're having difficulty motivating yourself to get organized and complete a task is debilitating.
It doesn’t look debilitating to others. In my case, I'm always doing something and being productive. Maybe this is true for you, too. The lack of progress in one particular area or another can lead to delaying other projects. Don’t let feeling overwhelmed prevent you from getting organized and completing the task.
Diane N. Quintana is a Certified Professional Organizer®, Certified Professional Organizer in Chronic Disorganization®, Master Trainer, and owner of DNQ Solutions, LLC, based in Atlanta, Georgia.
