Life Would Probably Be A Lot Easier If Schools Taught 12 Lessons Most People Have To Learn The Hard Way
RDNE Stock project | Pexels The years we spend in school are supposed to teach us the skills we need to live a successful life. Unfortunately, schools don't always teach us lessons that would make life much easier, and people end up having to learn it the hard way.
While many adults say it's important for schools to teach life skills, many professional educators insist that doing so is a waste of time. And when kids don't learn those essential lessons and skills, lacking the emotional awareness and know-how as adults, they're extremely unprepared for the inevitable challenges coming their way.
Lessons schools don't teach that would make life a lot easier
1. Financial literacy is essential for economic stability
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Schools don’t teach financial literacy to students, which means that people learn how to manage their money the hard way. Graduating from high school is a pivotal point in anyone’s life, whether they go to college or immediately enter the workforce. But most 18-year-olds don’t have a solid understanding of financial success.
According to the National Education Association, many adults don't have the basic knowledge to help them with personal finances. Based on the results of multiple studies, it's clear that when schools actively teach students how to budget and manage their credit, it sets them up for success and more economic stability over the course of their lives.
2. Emotional intelligence matters
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Schools emphasize academic achievement over emotional development. This means that even though people learn all the elements on the periodic table, they don’t have the skills to deepen their emotional intelligence. Understanding and regulating emotions are critical for success, yet emotional intelligence is often seen as a soft skill, which means that schools refuse to teach this essential life lesson.
When people understand their own emotional landscapes, they’re able to hold space for other people’s feelings without trying to fix them. This is a lesson that people have to learn the hard way, unfortunately, as schools don't teach essential lessons that would make life feel a bit easier.
3. Failure is part of being successful
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We learn from a young age that being wrong means we get a failing grade, which means we’re never going to amount to anything. But outside of the classroom, making mistakes can help us get ahead and grow. Mistakes are part of learning how to do something right, and it helps us grow and find success on our own terms.
By teaching kids that failure is not only part of what makes them human, but is the key to success, as adults they're better able to handle challenges that come their way. It’s so valuable to learn that failure is a step on the journey to success and not the stopping point.
4. Perfection doesn’t build true confidence
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Most schools teach toward state-mandated standardized testing. Students learn how to get high scores on exams, and that puts immense pressure on them to be perfect, leading to having unrealistic expectations and inability to accept feedback that can help them grow.
Instead, aiming for progress, not perfection, allows people to release the impossible standards holding them back and actually get things done. Schools won't teach that perfection isn’t tenable in any reality, outside of scoring 100 on a test. So, people don’t learn the value of imperfection or letting themselves be good enough.
5. Social connections create opportunities
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When some schools teach kids that social skills are more important than anything else, especially when it comes to finding professional success, they're making things harder in the end. While social skills do matter, it’s actually our personal connections that make a big difference in getting opportunities.
Networking without being transactional requires people to make authentic connections based on common goals and shared perspectives. It’s only through genuine connection that people feel heard and valued. Treating people with respect and care is how strong relationships are formed, which opens doors to opportunities that otherwise would remain closed.
6. Listening is more important than speaking
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In a classroom setting, the kids who speak the most are seen as good students. Kids may learn that raising your hand and answering questions is the way to be a strong performer, but outside of school, being a good listener is equally as important.
When people set aside their own thoughts in favor or actually hearing someone out, they're more present and involved. They aren't waiting for their turn to take, and instead are genuinely invested in what another person has to say. Yes, speaking comes in handy, but most kids have to learn this the hard way.
7. Communication is the only way to solve conflicts
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People tend to think that pushing the hard parts of life away is how to deal with them, but avoidance just makes things worse. Yes, schools may tell kids to use their words if they need something, but it's more than just letting your own desires be known. Good communication, it turns out, comes from a place of genuine care, not insecurity.
By learning effective communication skills, students can take that lesson and bring it into their adult relationships. Unfortunately, because they aren't taught this lesson, they may not fully understand how much these skills build trust over time.
8. Workplace negotiation is about assertiveness
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Knowing your worth and advocating for yourself isn’t an inherent skill, and it’s not taught in the classroom. That means most people enter the workforce without having that experience under their belts.
Many students graduate high school without this very basic lesson. They may know how to do their own laundry or drive a car by the time they leave for college, but workplace negotiation isn't ever taught as a way to make their lives easier. Instead, they remain unaware of their power.
9. Neglecting your needs is harmful to your health
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While you might be able to burn the candle on both ends for a little while, over time, you’ll wind up exhausted. Certain academic environments push people to work so hard that they stop taking care of themselves in a holistic way. They prefer performance over longer term achievements, leading to burnout.
The idea that people should compromise their well-being for success at school or work is no way to live. While many know that schools teaching this lesson would prevent hardship in the future, it's a hard truth for people to learn.
10. Build stress management skills
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Being able to manage stress in a healthy way is something students should learn from a young age. With the pressures of studies and extracurriculars constantly on their mind, figuring out how to wind down and find time to themselves isn't an inherent skill.
While their parents may help them, if schools taught them this instead, they would know that putting their physical and mental health needs above other accomplishments would take them far in life. They can recognize the signs of stress they're experiencing, and then take proper steps to help themselves.
11. Being authentic paves the way for long-term success
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Being authentic allows people to find their life’s purpose and be successful in whatever they do. People often make decisions based on what they think others want, but that leads them farther away from living authentically. It's not usually something that kids learn in school, either, which makes it harder to deal with once they become adults.
It's hard to deal with the need to fit in while in school, and they struggle with self-acceptance. But in addition to teaching kids that bullying is wrong, if schools spread information about the importance of authenticity, growing up would be much easier.
12. Reaching your goals isn’t always easy
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Accomplishing what you’ve set out to do doesn't come easily most of the time. It’s one thing to know yourself and set goals, and it’s something else entirely to do the work that will get you there. Committing to your dreams means putting in effort to make them come true, not just waiting for something magical to happen.
True, whole-hearted success requires people to work for it, and to stay open-minded and flexible along the way. Having the ability to assess the distance between where you are and where you want to go requires intentionality and adaptability. Those are lessons most people learn the hard way, though they’re lessons that pay off in full over time.
Alexandra Blogier, MFA, is a writer based in Boston, Massachusetts who covers psychology, social issues, relationships, self-help topics, and human interest stories.
