Husband Gifted His Wife Expensive Perfume — Now He's Angry Because She Uses It Too Much
Ron Lach | Pexels Most people would tell you that the minute you give someone a gift, that item shifts in ownership from the gift giver to the gift receiver. It's a pretty simple concept. Not for one husband, apparently. He took to Reddit to complain that after gifting his wife a bottle of expensive perfume, she wasn't using it the way he thought she should. She was happily spritzing daily, while he thought the price tag on the gift meant it should be reserved for special occasions.
Unsurprisingly, said husband was quickly put in his place regarding his complaint. That's the thing about a gift. It's not your concern how it's used or appreciated once it's given. He should have been happy she loved it and wanted to use it all the time.
After gifting his wife expensive perfume, the husband became upset that she was using it daily.
Just Life | Shutterstock
Intention, compassion, and selflessness should be at the forefront of the gift-giver's mind. Right? Maybe not for this husband on Reddit. He wrote, "I M33, asked my wife F33 to save the expensive perfume I gifted her for special occasions, but she’s been using it every day. How should I approach this and ask my wife not to use it daily?"
Reading and re-reading that opening heading raised my eyebrows, and pretty much every commenters' eyebrows as well. He is a self-proclaimed "CognoScenti (someone who loves perfume)," well-versed and assumed to be entitled to an opinion on this subject. Needless to say, that didn't quite give him the air of authority he had hoped, and users were quick to put him in his place.
The husband went on to share his perspective, saying he regularly uses cheaper perfumes and reserves the expensive ones, like the one he bought for his wife, for special occasions. He explained that minimal sprays are the proper way to wear perfume, and she overdoes it.
Gift-giving does not and should not have an instruction manual for the receiver to follow.
His first problem was assuming that people would take his side. His next problem was trying to control how his wife enjoyed the gift he gave her. Remember, this was a gift for her, not for him.
Scott Rick, PhD, associate professor of marketing at the University of Michigan’s Ross School of Business, told the American Psychological Association, "a good gift involves some sacrifice — money, time, or both." He went on to say, "It shows that you understand and know the person and can surprise them.” If you see a material object and a loved one crosses your mind instantaneously, and if the price tag propels you to stand in line and tap your card, it's safe to say you're on the right track.
Gift-giving should foster the reaction of happiness for the giver with a "warm glow" of "oxytocin that signals trust, safety, and connection." However, in special cases of penny-pinchers and cheapskates, they feel "the pain of paying," where keeping their wallet in safekeeping carries greater value to them than a loved one's smile when actively using the product given to them.
Conditional love should not be the standard. Clearly, the comments highlighted his actions as "pretentious" and "controlling." The principle of gift-giving is something to be used by the receiver, however and whenever they choose to. That's her decision. A few lighthearted puns within the thread showed how ridiculous the husband's argument truly was. "He was incogni-scent of how this would make him sound."
The husband was more concerned about his reputation as an authority on scents rather than how his wife used the gift.
It's obvious he was looking for validation from strangers online, but he wasn't going to get it. He had so many other options, like actually talking to his wife about how many sprays she wasted and saving the perfume for special occasions, but that only proved he knew he was wrong.
As one user simply put it, "If she can’t wear it everyday [sic] because of the cost maybe it was too expensive for you to buy and gift in the first place." Hopefully, the wife keeps pouring perfume on herself as she pleases, and her husband feels inclined to have a conversation with her or a therapist to learn the process of gift-giving without the control issues.
Emi Magaña is a writer from Los Angeles with a bachelor's in English. She covers entertainment, news, and the real human experience.
