Hold Your Head High, Beautiful — They'll Kill To Watch You Fall

Keep shining your light.

confident woman Victoria Chudinova / Shutterstock

People are always preaching about confidence and why you should put forth every effort you can to have it. 

But the world of self-help is doing you a great disservice by completely ignoring all the obstacles you face once you've reached said confidence to a point where everyone is noticing. 

When you're insecure, it's almost like you're wearing a cloak of invisibility.

People aren't paying attention to you because you don't want them to. Your self-doubt keeps you hidden, and while you're worried about what other people think, chances are they're not thinking much because you're not giving them anything to talk about. 


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Confidence pushes you out into the spotlight.

It takes you out of your comfort zone and onto center stage. You're taking risks and making moves. And people are noticing 

Like, really noticing. 

While you've probably come a long way from letting other people's opinions define you, it doesn't mean you don't care.

You're a human, of course, you still care. To think that there is a finish line in which what other people say about you has no impact on your level of self-esteem whatsoever is ridiculous. 

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There isn't. You will always care a little bit. 

Having confidence is scary. People are paying attention to every little thing you do, and making comments about it. And people who are threatened by you and your confidence are probably making some really negative comments. 

That kind of pressure is tough to navigate. On one hand, you want to tell everyone to go eff themselves and prove them all wrong, and on the other hand, you want to crawl into a hole and hope everyone forgets about you. The answer is somewhere in the middle. 

You should never let your fear of failing to keep you from trying.

And you should never ever let your fear of what other people will say keep you from doing what you want to do. 


If you do fail — which will happen because again, you're human — you shouldn't try to cover it up or act like it doesn't bother you.

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Confidence isn't acting like everything is great when it's falling apart. Confidence is being real and not worrying what other people will say about it. 


So if people are talking, let them. Don't waste your energy trying to control someone else's.

As long as you're being true to yourself, you're not failing at all. 

Emily Blackwood is a writer who covers pop culture, true crime, dating, relationships, and everything in between. Follow her on Twitter.