Self

8 Tiny Habits That Will Make You More Fearless Than 98% Of People

Photo: Julian Santa Ana | Unsplash
Fearless woman

Fear and I have formed a very intimate relationship over the years. When Valentine's comes around, we even like to share gifts. I never used to like Fear. I believed her to be intrusive and, quite frankly, rude.

But now our connection is stronger than ever. She has taught me more than I could ever ask for. I learned what it means to navigate the world boldly.

Here are the 8 tiny habits that will make you more fearless than most people:

1. Using fear as a guide

Frightened people and fearless people use fear very differently. Those running scared see fear as an indication of what to avoid. They feel it, batten down the hatches, and are outta there. Fearless people use fear as their wisest guide toward the things worth doing.

Your greatest passions are reaffirmed by the fear you feel because those things hold tremendous meaning to you.

   

   

2. Forming a positive bond with fear

Scared people detest the feeling of fear. When the discomfort arises, they take this anxiety very seriously and try everything to resist it. This makes them feel worse.

Fearless people feel the fear; they are thankful for it. They lean in with fear as their accomplice.

RELATED: There's Only One Way To Stop Being Afraid Of Anything

3. Practicing the things you fear

The most effective solution to the discomfort around specific activities, be it public speaking, sales calls, talking to girls, or jumping into an ice-cold lake, is practice. Many take fear personally and create stories around how their performance results from who they are, the cards they were dealt, and their personality.

No.

You’re scared because you don’t know what you’re doing. You will get better with repeated actions that hone your muscle memory and improve your skill.

4. Seeing fear as excited energy

Fearless people don’t label Fear.

They ride it like a faithful steed with no name. Avoidant types get a crackle in their chest and say:

‘Oh, mama! I’m scared!’

Fearless people feel the crackle, do a little dance, and double down on the gift of such energy.

5. Having a loose concept of ‘self'

Buddhists spoke for centuries about the concept of ‘No self.’ Fearless people understand this intimately.

When we ask ourselves the question: ‘Who am I really?’ we see that — beyond bones and flesh — we are both nothing and everything. Our self-concept is only a thought we hold in our minds. It is not real.

When we realize we have no self to protect, we are untouchable. Nothing can hurt us. To live this understanding is to be fearless.

RELATED: How To Stop Living Your Life Based On Your Fears

6. Knowing rejection is not tied to self-esteem

One of man’s greatest fears is to be rejected by the tribe. We are terrified of rejection or judgment by other people, and whether we realize it or not, this dictates most, if not all, of our actions. We are slaves to this fear.

The fearless know that regardless of the discomfort we can feel in the face of rejection, another human cannot possibly decrease their self-esteem. Why? Because they know ‘self-esteem’ is an illusion. Illusions, like clouds of gas, cannot be attacked.

   

   

7. No longer avoiding mistakes

We’re scared because we associate ‘failure’ or ‘making a mistake’ with loss. We limit our joy and performance in everything if we’re trying to avoid mistakes. We spend our lives walking on eggshells.

Good luck enjoying life that way.

Be willing to break the egg and see how the break is necessary to get to the enriching inner yolk.

RELATED: Why We Experience Fear — And What To Do About It

8. Being acutely conscious of the closeness of death

Marcus Aurelius, the Roman emperor, said: ‘You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think.’ This cat had a point.

When we operate on the premise that life is long, our sense of urgency to the power of the present moment diminishes.

When we see life is short, rather than feeling scared, we are empowered to be bold, knowing death could be right around the corner.

Your time on this Earth is an extraordinary gift.

Don’t spend your time here cowering from Fear. Accept that Fear is a part of your experience and decide to have fun with it. Befriend it, learn to love it, and be thankful for the capacity in you to connect with Fear. She will support you in return.

This is how you fall in love with truly living.

   

   

RELATED: The One Change I Made To Become Fearless And Transform My Life

Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient. 

This article was originally published at Medium. Reprinted with permission from the author.