Focus On The Friends That Stay, Not The Ones That Leave

Photo: - Yuri A/ Shutterstock
friends as the beach

By Brittany Christopoulos

When it comes to friends, the pros and cons can be lengthy.

Some came into your life out of convenience, some were a blessing at the moment, and some might have betrayed you. There could have been some friends who have scorned you terribly and others who made your life worth living, even if it was for a short period of time.

It’s hard to live life without someone who you were so sure you’d have by your side through every milestone.

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It can be challenging to go through big life changes and remember the pain that they’re not there. It’s equally as hard to see them doing the same from a distance.

It’s hard to be reminded of what you had, what could have been, and what was supposed to happen. But you will miss out on the people who have stuck by you through life if you’re too busy focusing on the ones who left.

At the end of the day, people will show up if they want to be in your life.

If they want to be, they will be. Even if you think they should be in your life, but there are signs telling you otherwise, you need to trust that judgment.

If they don’t want to be in your life, then let them leave. That will be your closure.

You don’t have to hate them and harvest those negative feelings towards them forever, even though you will have your moments. It’s completely natural to feel this way.

You’re allowed to miss them, and you can pray they'll come back. But focusing on the resentment you have towards them is not going to get you anywhere.

Remember, you’re still blessed with people who you love and adore.

These people in your life will value, support and genuinely care for you. They want to be in your life and they want the best for you.

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Focus on the friend who stayed up all night with you crying over a boy. The one who remembers the little things and surprises you with the best and most thoughtful gifts just because.

Focus on the friend who knows how to show you a good time when you need it. Focus on the friend who is as fiercely loyal as you are to them.

Your friends empower you in unimaginable ways and provide you with the right amount of strength and support that you need in your weakest moments. Your friends hype you like no other, even on the nights when you’re braless and have no makeup on.

They celebrate your successes like your own and they are in tune with whatever events are happening in your life at the moment. If you focus on the past, I can guarantee you’ll miss out on the beautiful memories you’ll make with your friends now.

Take the deep roots from the past and allow yourself to grow and blossom into your new life. You have a lot of beautiful things and people that have grown from the damage you’ve endured before.

You are surrounded by people who love you. They show you this love each and every day, even if you don’t always see each other.

Don’t take them for granted and don’t ever forget how amazing they are. That in itself is a blessing most people are not fortunate to have.

So, when you think of your old friend who left you feeling scorned or the one you walked away from, wish them the best in life. Because no matter how hard they try, they’ll never have as great of a life as you have.

You’ve won the lottery with your friend group.

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Brittany Christopoulos is a writer, journalist, and fill-in TV co-host. She's a Senior Writer and Head of Trending News for Unwritten. Follow her on Twitter.

This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.