People Who Like Mental & Emotional Alone Time Usually Use 9 Excuses To Get Out Of Plans
Face Stock | Shutterstock People who need mental and emotional alone time understand that they can't be their best selves without recharging in solitude. That also means they have no guilt when they make up excuses to get out of plans that interfere with their alone time.
There are many benefits to spending time alone, including building independence and self-reflection. It can feel like there is pressure to stay social and fill our days with productivity. In reality, time alone to rest and recharge is necessary, or we become burnt out. Those who prioritize this and put their alone time first show up for others without being drained.
Excuses people who need mental and emotional alone time use to get out of plans without hurting anyone’s feelings
1. 'I'm not feeling well'
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I can get burnt out in social situations. While I know I need to take time for myself, it can be hard to say that to other people. I don’t want to let anyone down or make them feel like I’m avoiding them. If I really need time to recharge, I’ll tell them I don’t feel well because who wants to be around someone with an illness they could catch?
While we need to stand up for ourselves when we feel too exhausted to socialize, researchers at Michigan State University say it’s important not to lie. In a survey, they found that people were most upset by a friend lying to them to get out of hanging out, not by the cancellation. We all need time to recharge, but psychology says to try to tell the truth when we can.
2. ‘Something came up’
This is a classic excuse people use to avoid socializing with others. When we say this, we don’t expect the person we’re canceling on to ask for further information. I know that when I hear this, I don’t feel comfortable digging for more information out of respect for my friends. Those who come up with last-minute excuses to prioritize alone time may rely on their loved ones not pushing further, because nothing actually came up.
The phrase is perfect for last-minute cancellations. However, it is most respectful to give your friends an early heads-up. Canceling at the last minute can cause strain in relationships, no matter what excuse you give.
3. ‘I have to help a family member’
It’s not unusual for people to feel disappointed when someone backs out of plans. It can feel frustrating and sometimes causes resentment. One excuse that will rarely cause a problem is a family emergency. Along with not feeling well, a study found it’s the most common excuse.
People understand putting your family above plans with friends. If someone says they need to help a family member because an emergency came up, it’s a widely accepted excuse to get out of plans because who is going to dispute an emergency?
4. ‘I’m trying to save money’
We are living in a difficult economy. A survey found that 52% of people are struggling financially without rainy-day funds, and expect it to get worse with time.
This might be an excuse to get out of plans, but there might actually be some truth to it, and they genuinely do not have extra money to spend on a night out with friends. Using this as an excuse is something most people can relate to, because a whole lot of people are living paycheck to paycheck and have to prioritize paying bills.
5. ‘I’m tired’
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We are more exhausted than ever, research has found. Many people are living unsustainable lifestyles driven by hustle culture. This causes them to squeeze in as many tasks as they can each day, leaving them without time for themselves.
Using this as an excuse is something most people can understand. Likely, the other person is exhausted, too, and understands where they are coming from. While it can occasionally feel like they are letting people down by canceling because they are tired, it’s a classic excuse that usually works like a charm.
6. ‘I have an early morning tomorrow’
Excuses are often used to mitigate responsibility. By coming up with a reason to cancel plans, people who like mental and emotional alone time hope to lessen the other person's anger. If they can convince them they genuinely need to back out, their actions are justified.
All of us have experienced an early morning. Whether we were rushing to work or preparing for an event, it can be exhausting to get up at the crack of dawn, especially if you’re not used to it. This excuse is relatable. Most people can empathize with someone whose sleep is cut short by early plans, and let them off easily if they cancel.
7. ‘I’m in for the night, sorry’
People who need alone time value a night in. It allows them to spend their time doing what they want to do instead of putting others first. It can be their time to unwind with a hobby, or the chance to do nothing after a long, exhausting day. Craving this time to themselves can cause them to cancel, and sometimes, their excuse is the truth.
When you spend time alone, you can fully focus on yourself. This allows them to de-stress and return to their lives more refreshed and available. Needing alone time to navigate emotions is normal, and staying in for the night is not only a good excuse, but it’s a good idea.
8. ‘I accidentally double-booked myself’
Not everyone pays close attention to their social calendars. Often, we agree to do something with two different people, leaving us in a pickle when the day rolls around and we’re not sure who to cancel with. It’s not surprising that some people will lie about this to get out of plans and prioritize themselves.
We overbook ourselves; that’s no secret. That’s what makes this the perfect excuse for someone who wants to stay in and spend time alone.
9. ‘I’m busy’
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I’m guilty of using this excuse to get out of plans because I’d rather be spending time alone. Unless it’s a close friend, I’ve found most people will not ask what you are doing. It’s typically an easy way to trade a night out for a night in.
Many people are chronically busy, which isn’t good for their mental health. They are overdoing it on the daily, leaving them exhausted. When someone claims they are too busy to do something, most people accept the excuse at face value because they understand what it’s like to try to balance a million tasks at once.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
