Bride Tells Bridesmaid Not To Speak To Her Anymore After She Backed Out On Her Bachelorette Party Because She Just Gave Birth
The bridesmaid insisted that it's impossible to leave her newborn just to travel to a bachelorette party.
Prostock-studio | Shutterstock A bridesmaid shared how her friendship with the bride is on the line after she bowed out of the bachelorette party to stay home with her newborn. Posting to Reddit, the 28-year-old bridesmaid admitted that the bride, someone she thought was her friend, reprimanded her and told her that she didn't want to even speak with her until the rehearsal dinner.
A bridesmaid backed out of attending the bachelorette party because it was too difficult to leave her newborn son.
"I just gave birth to my second child toward the end of February of this year. My friend is getting married this May and I am a bridesmaid in her upcoming wedding. My first child is also a flower girl," she began in her Reddit post.
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She explained that her friend, the bride-to-be, didn't want a bachelorette party at first to avoid drama with some of her other family members, but the bride's older sister, and the maid-of-honor, decided that she wanted to throw the bride a party last minute. The only weekend that worked was Mother's Day weekend, but her friend's sister let all of the other women in the bridal party know that she would understand if not all of them would be able to attend.
Her son, who would only be 11 weeks old on party date, would still need to nurse, making the four-hour road trip difficult. Worse yet was the fact that he also had reflux, making bottle feedings "hard for others to deal with," according to the mom. She decided it was just easier to bow out than try to make it work.
When the bridesmaid explained she wouldn't be able to attend, the bride-to-be became extremely upset.
Eventually, the bride-to-be caught wind of the bridesmaid declining the invite, and that's when things took a turn. The woman wrote, "I explained to her how much I truly wish I could be there, but I am unable to right now due to not being able to leave my son for that long yet. My friend basically told me not to talk to her anytime in the near future and that she will see me at the rehearsal dinner."
Now, she's questioning if she's in the wrong for not being able to attend the bachelorette party, pointing out that her kids will always be her top priority, but she still feels bad that she's missing out on a special day for her friend. Commenters, however, were quick to point out that it's the bride who isn't seeing things clearly.
One commenter didn't sugar coat it, stating, "If your 'friend' is unable to understand what you shared here, she is either painfully dumb or ridiculously entitled! Your reasons are absolutely valid ... You are doing the right thing for your child and yourself and that's the most important of all. I'm not sure I'd attend the wedding if I were you. Your 'friend' is a completely unreasonable [expletive]."
Weddings can often strain friendships.
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Despite how her friend feels, the bridesmaid's reasoning for not attending the party isn't rooted in wanting to be neglectful or disrespectful in the slightest. Unfortunately, the bride is not in the same place in life as this mom, and she hasn't taken the time to see things from her perspective.
Julie Bunkley, a wedding planner and the owner and creative director at Invision Events, explained to Brides that it's common for relationships to get pushed to the breaking point in the months before a wedding. She said, “There’s a long list of things that merge together in a wedding to give the perfect conditions for bad behavior. There’s the inevitable stress of making a massive life decision, there’s two sets of family dynamics to balance, there’s money involved, deadlines, expectations, and the list goes on. While we don’t condone or even expect poor behavior, it’s hard to miss why it happens.”
That doesn't excuse it, however, especially since, as Danielle L. Moore, LCSW, mental health therapist at Refresh Wellness Center, explained to the outlet, it's rooted in control. She said, “People will always reduce you to the version of yourself that they have the most control over, or that they benefit the most from.” She added, "They want to be in control — and when things don't happen [their way], people tend to manifest bad behavior.”
Instead of cutting off her friend, the bride-to-be should have opted for compassion, but her impulsive reaction has now resulted in the bridesmaid revealing in an update that she decided to pull herself and her daughter out of the wedding completely. Now, an entire friendship has been destroyed over a bachelorette party.
While weddings are undoubtedly important, it's the people celebrating with you, sharing these monumental moments with you, that are the foundation that makes them worthwhile.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
