Bride And Groom Make Destination Wedding Guests Sit In Hot Sun While Exchanging 'Silent Vows'
"Silent vows" used to be called "elopement." Time to bring that back.
ozgurcankaya | Getty Images Signature | Canva Pro Every wedding season, it seems like what used to be an event for mutual, communal celebration becomes more and more an exercise about a bride and groom's ego. Charging guests entrance fees, demanding certain gifts, brides putting out novel-length lists of rules about attire — judging by the stories on the internet, America's straight couples seem uniquely afflicted with a debilitating case of Main Character Syndrome.
And there's perhaps no better example than the newest trend on the scene that completely changes the way the vows, you know, the entire point of a wedding in the first place, are handled.
A wedding guest is furious after being subjected to the bride and groom's 'silent wedding vows.'
The vows are what make a wedding a wedding. Without them, it is merely a party, a spectacle not all that distinct from a Sweet 16 or a prom. We have basically been convened to ooh and ahh at a dress and a tuxedo.
Which makes the new trend of "silent vows" utterly perplexing. Rather than repeating that whole "for richer or poorer" thing like usual, some couples are now opting to have their vows be just between them. Methods range from quietly whispering them just to each other, writing letters to each other to be read in private, or briefly leaving the ceremony to exchange vows to each other in a private area.
Which really, REALLY begs the question: Why have a wedding in the first place?! Back in more normal times, before social media made it an unspoken dictate that everything must be a lifestyle trend, we had a name for this type of wedding: ELOPEMENT.
What is the point of everyone you know and love flying all over the country to be with you on your big day if you're going to walk off to a bathroom stall to whisper sweet nothings at each other while the rest of us sit in the pews playing Candy Crush on our phones? Listen to me very carefully, brides and grooms: Nobody, and I mean NOBODY, is that important.
Which brings us to a woman on Reddit, who was left deeply irritated by a wedding that not only did this silent vows thing, but did it in a way that went from the merely strange and selfish to downright diabolically rude.
Guests were left to bake in the sun at this destination wedding during the 'silent vows.'
Okay. I was just merely irritated, but now I'm incensed. The woman wrote in her Reddit post that she feels what went down at this wedding was "tacky," which is like saying Celine Dion can carry a tune or an 8.0 earthquake is a little nerve-wracking. Because what actually went down here is egregious.
The nuptials were a destination wedding that "everyone flew or drove for hours" to attend, then, of course, had to pay for hotel rooms as well on top of the usual costs to attend a wedding, like outfits and wedding gifts.
Lilen Diaz | Pexels
But when it came to the vows, which is to say THE ACTUAL WEDDING PART OF THE WEDDING, the couple clammed up and did silent vows, leaving their 100 wedding guests to "awkwardly sit in the hot sun" while they "whisper inside jokes to each other."
Wedding experts say 'silent vows' are a rapidly growing trend.
Personally, if I'd been in attendance at this particular wedding, I'd have immediately taken the couple's little vow retreat as an opportunity to burn down the wedding venue with a blow torch. The level of narcissism here is on an 11 out of 10.
But I am apparently in the minority in that sentiment! According to a survey of more than 5,000 brides and grooms by wedding website Zola, silent vows are arguably the hottest trend of the 2025 wedding season. "Yes, couples want to party with their guests," Zola writers Alexis Benveniste and Emily Forrest explained. "But they also deeply cherish the special moment of exchanging vows, and want that moment to be intimate."
Okay cool! THAT IS NOT WHAT A WEDDING IS FOR. A wedding is a giant public party in front of your closest friends and family! It is not supposed to be private! That is LITERALLY what an elopement is! I feel insane!
Alexander Mass | Pexels
But then, this is the same cohort, just over half of which also said it's fine to use AI to write the vows in question, so we're very much dealing with a bunch of brides and grooms who are several cards short of a full deck. You "deeply cherish" your "intimate" vows… but you're fine with them being written by ChatGPT? Okay! Lunatics!
Obviously, brides and grooms can do whatever they want. It's their day. But if you're going to have this level of delusional main character syndrome, don't be surprised if you find your wedding guests dragging you on Reddit the next day.
John Sundholm is a writer, editor, and video personality with 20 years of experience in media and entertainment. He covers culture, mental health, and human interest topics.
