The Art Of Being Confident: 10 Simple Habits Of Naturally Confident People
Confidence isn't magic — it takes practice.
Look Studio | Shutterstock Have you ever noticed that some people seem to radiate self-assurance effortlessly? The habits they practice are surprisingly accessible to anyone willing to embrace them.
These aren't superficial tricks or fake-it-till-you-make-it strategies, either. There is an art to being confident in your own skin, and using proven strategies rooted in self-awareness, self-compassion, and genuine personal growth will get you to master it yourself.
The art of being confident — 10 simple habits of naturally confident people:
1. They focus on three recent wins
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Take a moment to reflect on the last few weeks. Pick out some little successes — things that make you proud and make you realize how powerful you are.
Immerse yourself in the subtle and warming glow of these little accomplishments. This is training your mind to focus on what’s working, not on what’s wrong in your world.
2. They use nasal breathing to stay calm
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Studies show that nasal breathing — particularly if you block off the right nostril — stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system, which promotes calm.
There are a few ways that more directly calm you down than slow breaths like this. When we’re calm, our natural confidence will automatically appear.
3. They stay curious about others
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Those of us who rarely feel confident around others are often overly self-conscious. We want to "get it right" and not make a mistake, so we focus on what we’re doing and end up twice as fidgety.
To be confident, you need to take the attention off yourself. One way to do this is to look for things to like about others.
4. They slow down their speech
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You don’t need to come off like you just swallowed nine sleeping pills to benefit from this cheeky little skill. Most of us are in a hurry to get our words out.
We’re overcompensating for our anxiety and making things even harder. Slow down. It makes it easier for you to think and for others to understand what you’re saying.
While a measured, deliberate pace often signals authority, research shows that genuinely confident speakers sometimes speak faster. A combination of pace, pitch, and loudness influences the perception of confidence.
5. They embrace uncertainty
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The greatest destroyer of in-the-moment joy is wishing you knew what was coming down the pipes. No one knows, so stop thinking you’re any different.
Confidence arises without effort when you accept uncertainty. When you’re uptight about needing to know, the last thing you’ll be is confident.
6. They stop performing
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Trying to be a certain way is to perform. When we’re trying to do things, as Ray Bradbury once said, it’s self-conscious and lousy.
The trick of real confidence is to let go of trying to be anything and to find a way to enjoy what you’re doing. That’s how you enter a flow.
Letting go of the need for a perfect outcome allows you to focus on the learning process. A 2018 study found that self-compassionate individuals were more motivated to admit and apologize for mistakes than those with high self-esteem.
7. They speak with authority
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You’ll notice a common thread among people who lack self-confidence and those who tend to be disrespected or ignored. They have a non-assertive speaking style. What do I mean by this?
I don’t necessarily mean you bound around shouting in everyone’s faces. I just mean you round out your words, and you speak with a bit of oomph. Talk like you mean what you say. Find your courageous self, and speak from there.
8. They relax their posture
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People have been telling other uptight people to "just relax" for millennia because it works. Letting go physically — while not peeing yourself — will calm you down.
You don’t require everything in your environment to be "just right" before you relax. You can choose to relax. When you do, your mind stills and your confidence rises.
Research suggests that assuming this body posture can increase feelings of confidence and project self-assurance to others. Altering your physical posture can send signals to your brain that change how you feel.
9. They let their inner smile shine through
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Try this cool little exercise right now. You can quickly turn a frown upside down by allowing an inner smile to emerge.
This happens when we allow it to happen. It’s that simple. There’s a curious energy attached that will light you up. This is the source of confidence you’ve been looking for.
10. They step into leadership roles
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We all have a part of us that flourishes in a leadership position, no matter how shy we think we are. Confidence and a leadership mentality go hand in hand.
You don’t need to wait for someone to come along and tell you, "You’re a leader!" You choose to lead. And when you do, you might be surprised at how confident you feel.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient. He's the author of the Mastery Den newsletter, which helps people triple their productivity.
