I Almost Let 'I'm Not Good Enough' Destroy Me — But I Stopped Believing The Lie

An invisible monster tried to take me down. Fortunately, I stopped listening to its lies.

By Doyin Richards — Written on May 10, 2023

Photo: the author's TEDx speech

Doyin Richards, a Black woman with a bald head and black glasses, wears a blue shirt and delivers a speech against a dark background, smiling

It’s Mental Health Awareness Month so I’m going to be vulnerable here.

Five years ago almost to the day, I made an attempt on my life that should’ve killed me. As I sit here today, I realize it’s a miracle that I’m alive.

The insidious, invisible monster that lies to us every day

I’m not going to share details about that day because it’s not important. But for as long as I can remember, I’ve been fighting against this invisible monster named INGE that torments me.

I’m. Not. Good. Enough.

I’m not smart enough.
I’m not successful enough.
I’m not handsome enough.
I’m not talented enough.
I’m not lovable enough.

You get the idea.

The simple phrase that wins the daily battle for mental health

On that day in May 2018, INGE was so loud that I was willing to do anything to quiet the sound permanently. Thankfully I was unsuccessful, but I still deal with those voices today.

It’s a constant battle fighting against clinical depression (my version of mental illness), but I know I’m going to be OK.

I don’t know if you need to hear this, but you will be OK too.

If life becomes too overwhelming like it was for me five years ago, please seek professional help. Doing so doesn’t make you soft or weak.

In fact, getting help is the strongest thing I’ve ever done.

Here’s one thing my therapist said that helped me.

Think about the absolute worst day of your life. You’re still here, right? If you can get through that, you can get through anything.