8 Signs You’re Not A Type-B Personality, You’re Just Done Carrying The Mental Load For Everyone
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock People with type-B personalities are often seen as disorganized and messy, but generally chill and even fun. But these traits aren't always because someone is scatterbrained, sometimes it's because they're just done living to please others.
Yes, there are Type Bs out there that fit the usual stereotype, but many people are just done carrying the mental load for everyone else. If this is you, you probably feel freer than you ever imagined, even if other people judge you for it.
1. You go with the flow because you’re done taking responsibility for others
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If you’re the one taking responsibility for everyone, it can become overwhelming and at some point you're just done. Instead of making decisions for the group, you take an easygoing approach and go with the flow or head home. People will often interpret your actions differently, and that's on them.
It’s exhausting to be the one everyone counts on. Most of us want to show up for the people we love, but if they’re not willing to help, it takes a serious toll on our mental health. You may not be type-B, you simply may be done calling the shots because no one else will give their opinions.
2. You say ‘yes’ to avoid answering frustrating questions
When someone drains you with constant questions, it's often easier to go along with whatever they want to hear. Sometimes this is a great way to adapt to someone being annoying, especially if you can just walk away when you're over it.
This comes across as being agreeable. People love it when someone confirms what they believe. Giving in to someone’s cognitive bias can help get them off your back because you're giving them the validation they need.
But, while saying “yes” even when you want to say no makes you look like you go with the flow, you’re likely to end up frustrated.
3. You’ve stopped stepping in to fix other people's messes
Some people are natural fixers. When something is going wrong, they instantly go into problem-solving mode. However, this becomes draining over time. They put other people’s problems before their own, leaving them with no time to work on themselves. Too much of this leaves people frustrated and overwhelmed. Shutting down can be their go-to when this gets to be too much.
This can be misinterpreted as a type B personality because they’re hands-off. It looks like they are relaxed and not worried about what’s going on. They’re actually sick of being the one who has to step in and is waiting for someone else to pick up the slack.
4. You use silence to set a boundary
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Setting boundaries is one of the most important things you can do for yourself. It shows people how you expect to be treated. Some people can’t sense other people’s boundaries and even ignore them. When this happens often, silence is an easy way to avoid confrontations. Staying out of a situation helps preserve your peace.
It’s easy to assume someone like this doesn’t care about what’s going on, that they're off in some Type-B la-la land. Instead, it might be a coping mechanism to keep from losing your cool when everyone relies on you.
5. You’re not chill, you’re trying to keep calm
Some people will see you removed from a situation or at home when you were invited out and assume you are resting. Type-B people are known for having a calm demeanor. It makes it easy for them to jump to this conclusion without reflecting on what’s going on. Sometimes, the truth is you’re burnt out. You’re lying low because you don’t want your frustrations to get the best of you.
You seem like you’re calm, cool, and collected, like the average type-B personality but you are actually just taking care of yourself. Youknow it’s important to appear chill getting more drained than you already are when people question you.
6. You've seriously reduced the number of things you care about
You used to be the type of person involved in everything. You made the plans and made sure everyone followed through with their end of the bargain. When no one is willing to help themselves, it becomes frustrating. You’re carrying the mental load while everyone else takes advantage of the work you do to maintain relationships. It gets to the point where you no longer want to be that person.
Type B personalities approach these things with a similar mindset. It’s not that they don’t care, but they’re willing to go along with the crowd. They truly just don't care and never did.
Stepping back from everything looks similar. In reality, you're frustrated. This is a sign you're burnt out from taking control.
7. Your to-do list gets shorter and shorter
Type B people are notorious for flying by the seat of their pants. To do list? Where? They get things done, but on their own terms.
Keeping a rigid to-do list doesn’t work for them the way it does for others. If you used to keep a complex list but have ditched it over time, it’s not always a sign that your personality has changed. Rather, taking on all of the responsibilities is no longer your problem.
Studies have shown that procrastination can become intentional, and putting things off so other people will finally step up and do them isn't laziness. You’ve purposely stopped working to the bone for other people. When and if it happens, it happens. There's no rush to check off tasks for everyone. The mental load becomes too much to handle.
8. You’re no longer giving people reminders
We’ve all had someone in our lives who can’t remember anything for the life of them. I’ll be honest, I am that person sometimes. I’ll text my friends and ask what our plans were and when to show up. I have a planner, so there’s no excuse. I’m sure they get sick of being the ones to remind me of everything.
Since Type B people move at their own pace, people might assume you’re giving them the space to do that. No longer keeping someone on track feels more flexible. If you’re sick of carrying the mental load, you might let people figure it out for themselves when things become too much.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
