The Art Of Not Taking Things Personally: 7 Things Unbothered People Really Don't Care About
StockLite | Shutterstock We seem to be living in an era when everyone is constantly on edge. It’s impossible to go through life without being annoyed by little things, but it feels like a lot of people don’t know when something is really directed at them.
Their solution is to take everything personally, which creates a lot of awkward situations. They would lose their mind over these normal things that people barely notice when they’re refreshingly unbothered.
Unbothered people are able to ignore these 7 things that most people hate:
1. Kids who act like actual kids in public
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It’s hard to pinpoint exactly when it happened, but at some point, kids just being themselves became controversial.
Pretty much everyone knows that kids are loud and energetic and even overwhelming at times. While there are certain places that parents should avoid bringing their young children, you just have to coexist with them in most public places.
It’s not good to force kids to act more mature than they actually are. Genuinely unbothered people would never expect to avoid all children throwing tantrums in the grocery store.
2. Friends asking to stay at your place when they’re in the area
When you travel somewhere a friend or family member lives, staying with them seems like the most logical thing to do. It’s a great way to save money and make the trip more fun. But when you know that person gets irritated easily, it feels like it’s not worth it to even ask.
Experts can’t agree on what’s most polite in this situation. Etiquette expert Sara Jane Ho said you should never ask unless you’re super close, but social science professor Eric Klinenberg thinks it’s just a normal part of life.
The truth is it really depends on the friend. If they’re laid-back, they’ll probably shrug and leave some towels out without making a fuss. They see it as a chance to catch up, not an inconvenience.
3. Drivers merging in front of you when there’s plenty of room
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The one place where people are the most likely to overreact might just be on the road. Driving can be pretty stressful when everything’s going smoothly, so anything that throws someone off makes it seem even worse.
Some people seem to forget the lessons we’ve all learned about sharing the road the minute they get behind the wheel, but relaxed people just accept it for what it is.
If someone needs to merge in front of them, they let them do it. They know they’ll have to do the same thing later, and they hope the driver they encounter has the same kind of patience.
4. Someone bringing an extra person with them to a party
To be fair, the person who wants to bring someone to a party holds most of the responsibility for how that’s received. The event is super important here. More formal settings aren’t the right place for someone to invite a plus-one to tag along.
There’s a difference between being chill and being a doormat. People who don’t appreciate an uninvited guest showing up at their party aren’t necessarily being unreasonable.
But when it’s just a low-key night of friends hanging out, it’s nice to know the friend who’s hosting won’t really care if one of your other friends comes with you.
5. Friends hanging out without you after you introduced them
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People don’t react well to being left out. According to social psychologist Kip Williams, “Only two minutes of [exclusion] by strangers is sufficient to have a very large effect.”
That means this isn’t the best time to judge someone’s character. Still, it is pretty weird when two people click after they meet through a mutual friend and then that mutual friend acts like they’re entitled to be included every time they hang out.
Introducing people doesn’t give you ownership over their friendship. Unbothered people will just be happy that two of their friends are getting along instead of reading that much into it.
6. Not being invited to someone’s wedding after they came to yours
Lots of people get very touchy about the proper etiquette for wedding invitations. If they went to a friend’s wedding, they often feel obligated to return the favor.
Since friendships change over time, that’s not always necessary, or even wise. How the other person reacts is totally up to them, though. If someone doesn’t take things too seriously, they’ll understand it wasn’t a big deal or a personal slight. No hard feelings needed.
7. People who are just doing their job, even if it’s annoying
Most people have very little control over their jobs, especially when they’re in the service industry. For example, servers aren’t responsible for cooking the food they bring to customers’ tables.
And then there are jobs that are particularly frustrating, like debt collectors. No one wants to come across one of these people, but someone still has to do the job. Plus, everyone has to support themselves somehow.
No one deserves to be treated badly for doing what they’re supposed to do, but it seems like only the most unbothered people understand that. They know what someone does for work isn’t personal at all, so they let it go.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
