Parents Say The Best Thing About Having Fully Grown Kids Are 6 Simple Joys They Bring
Halfpoint | Shutterstock Having fully grown kids brings parents a different kind of happiness. Children, while loud, sticky, and impulsive, bring joy to most people who see them. Kids are destructive and chaotic, yes, but they're also hilarious and adorable. Inevitably, though, those kids grow up, and parents get to discover what they enjoy about spending time with the adults their children have become.
A Reddit user asked what the best thing about having an adult child is, and the answers ranged from wholesome to hilarious. Some people loved seeing the amazing people their children had become. Others celebrated having more free time or being able to have a few drinks together, reminding us that parents are people too. From deeper conversations to friendships that develop, grown kids bring parents a different kind of satisfaction.
Parents say these 6 simple joys are the best part of having kids who are all grown up:
1. Spending time together doing things they both enjoy
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Parents have spent quality time with their children their entire lives, of course, but spending quality time with them as adults feels different. A parent and their adult child can watch TV shows they both like, each with a glass of wine. They can enjoy quality time together, rather than having to watch cartoons or a teen drama.
Studies have found that families that spent time together, regardless of the activity, were more likely to have stronger bonds. The article describes a study in which parents and adult children who spent more time together reported more fulfillment in their relationships.
2. Having deep, meaningful conversations
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As children grow into adults, they become much more capable of having deeper, intellectually stimulating conversations. Parents of adult children look forward to this because for most of their lives, conversations have felt surface-level. As adults, they can go deeper and learn more about each other.
Laurence Steinberg, PhD, is a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Temple University and was interviewed on the American Psychological Association's Speaking of Psychology podcast. Steinberg discussed teaching through the COVID pandemic, witnessing students take class from their childhood bedrooms. He recalled students explaining that although moving home wasn't what they'd hoped for, it had helped them get to know their parents better than before they left for college.
Steinberg explained that moving back home can give young adults opportunities to build stronger relationships with their parents. As his student shows, young adults can talk with their parents with more understanding and have deeper, more intellectually engaging conversations.
3. Letting their kids take care of them now
Inevitably, the roles between parents and children will reverse. Parents will continue to age and, of course, children will as well, but as their parents age, they will need more and more help caring for themselves.
Oftentimes, adult children will willingly step up to help care for their aging parents. Adult children can find it rewarding to care for the parents who cared for them throughout their lives. For parents, receiving that care and support can be a comforting part of having grown kids.
4. Being able to actually be friends with each other
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When children grow up into adults, their personalities shine through. It's almost like their parents are seeing them as full-fledged people once they've reached adulthood. Who can blame them? They did have to change their diapers.
Because of this, though, parents and adult children can form more than just a parent-child relationship and start building a friendship. An article published by AARP described interviews conducted for the book When Will My Grown-Up Kid Grow Up? In those interviews, 75% of parents said their relationships with their adult children were better than when their kids were 15. Most participants agreed that the best part is the friendship that emerges as they become adults.
5. Learning new things from their kids
As we age, learning new skills on our own can become difficult. Having younger people around who understand technology, though, is exactly how to get around that. The University of Kansas did a study on how adult children communicate with their parents. They found that adult children who used multiple different communication tools were happier with their relationships with their parents.
Many older parents resist technology because it seems difficult, so learning those tools gives parents another way to stay in touch with their grown kids. Jennifer Schon, a doctoral student in communication studies, explained that learning to use new communication tools could be worth it for parents who want a better relationship with their adult children.
6. Being needed and knowing their kids still come to them for advice
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No parent ever wants to feel like their kid doesn't need them anymore, and thankfully, that isn't always the case. The Pew Research Center did a study specifically on parents' relationship with their young adult children. They found that 41% of parents said their young adult children rely on them a great deal or a fair amount for emotional support. Most parents also said their children come to them for advice at least some of the time.
They may be grown, and they may even be taller than their parents now, but they'll always be their parents' kids, and that's always comforting to know.
Lyss Micalizzi is a writer covering human interest and pop culture, with a master's in Literature and Culture, a bachelor's in English Literary and Textual Studies, and over six years of writing and social media experience. Their work is driven by the belief that stories are what make us human.
