People With Very Few Friends Often Have Certain Habits That Make It Hard To Get To Know Them
cottonbro studio | Pexels We're often encouraged to seek out romantic relationships, but friendships are actually crucial for our well-being.
Just because someone has very few friends, it doesn't mean they're undeserving of lasting connections like this. But they may have certain habits that make it difficult for anyone to break their walls down and know the real person behind the mask.
Habits that make it hard for people to know someone with only a few friends
1. They're uncomfortable being vulnerable with anyone
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Many of us have been socialized to keep our personal lives to ourselves. But if someone wants to meet people and make new friends, they need to be willing to get a little vulnerable.
When two people are talking and one is trying to dive deeper while the other is closed off, nothing changes. One person may respond with one-word answers and not reveal anything personal about themselves.
To them, it feels like an interrogation, but it's really just an attempt to get to know them. Even if someone feels uncomfortable opening up, not doing so sabotages any hope of them making new friends.
2. They don't put themselves out there to meet anyone
Someone with few friends may not be able to make any connections because they simply don't put themselves out there. They don't join local clubs or go out in their neighborhoods. They stay low-key and do activities that avoid any form of socializing.
But they're really just hurting themselves because nobody is going to be able to get to know them. Even if they're happy with the friends they already have or feel uncomfortable in social situations, they're not doing themselves any favors by staying in solitude.
Unfortunately, being socially reclusive in this way is damaging to a person's well-being. It's different from taking alone time, and can quickly become a habit that pushes everyone away.
3. They don't pursue relationships because they're scared
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In a situation where they end up hitting it off with someone and exchanging numbers, a person who seems impossible to get to know never follows through. They don't reach out or connect. They don't make an effort to call, even if there was a spark.
Usually, it's because they're afraid of being rejected. Maybe they've been in situations before where they tried to make a connection and were ghosted. So now, the concept of making new friends or even pursuing a romantic relationship is too scary.
According to therapist Georgina Sturmer, "Some of us develop needy, attention-seeking behaviors in order to keep people close to us. At the other end of the spectrum, some of us develop avoidant behaviors, pushing people away before they can get close and potentially reject us."
For people who don't actively seek out connections, they're hiding themselves from the world. Their fear of rejection can become so great that they squash any chances of a future partnership or friendship.
4. They assume the worst in people
When someone doesn't have many friends, they may not be included in many things. But rather than chalking it up to their small social circle, they think it's them being rejected.
They overthink every interaction they have with their circle and feel like they're being constantly judged. It's made them cynical to the point where they don't give anyone the benefit of the doubt.
As health news reporter Emily Cooke explained, "Some people are more likely to misconstrue [a missed text] as aggressive or hostile, thinking they're perhaps ignoring you on purpose. Scientists call this tendency to assume the worst in people 'hostile attribution bias,' and it can make people more likely to be aggressive, experience poor mental health and struggle to maintain healthy relationships."
Allison Peterson is a writer with a degree in English from the University of Nevada, Reno. She writes on relationships, lifestyle, and mental health topics.
