People Who Think They Can't Rely On Anyone Complain About 8 Things On A Regular Basis
MAYA LAB / Shutterstock Some people feel like they don’t have anyone who supports them. That puts them at a major disadvantage, since being able to rely on other people is essential for getting through hard times.
That lack of support may be real, or it may just be something they perceive, but either way, it’s going to change what they think they’re capable of. Then they’ll start complaining about the help they need but don’t have.
People who feel like they have no one they can rely on tend to complain about these things all the time
1. Only hearing from people when they need something
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Being able to rely on someone isn’t just about knowing they’ll be there when you need help. It’s also about them being present in your life. If someone doesn’t have anyone they can rely on, there’s pretty much no chance that their so-called friends will contact them for any reason other than asking them for a favor.
That’s a clear sign of a one-sided friendship, which can never be fulfilling. It’s like they’re supposed to always be available, even though no one does the same for them. People wouldn’t be able to survive without them, but they’re supposed to be totally self-sufficient.
2. Feeling like no one understands them
Anyone who thinks they can’t rely on other people probably isn’t having heartfelt conversations on a regular basis. If people won't show up for them when something big happens, they definitely won't be there when they need to talk.
This leaves them feeling misunderstood without a good idea of how to fix that. People only see the parts of them they need instead of the big picture, so they start to think that no one cares. The sad thing is that they might not be very far from the truth.
3. Having to double-check what everyone else does
Thinking there’s no one to rely on doesn’t mean no one ever does anything. It could mean that when they do, they can’t do it without help. Unlike people who take on all of life’s responsibilities, unreliable people need constant motivation and reminders if they’re going to get anything done on time. You can’t really trust them to do things without someone looking over their shoulder.
This puts even more pressure on the people who already feel like they’re doing everything. It’s like they’re babysitting grown adults, and they know they could get it done faster on their own.
4. Knowing nothing will happen unless they do it themselves
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When people feel like there’s no one for them to rely on, they get used to the idea that nothing is going to get taken care of if they don’t do it themselves. Even if it’s not their responsibility, they can’t expect anyone else to pick it up.
If there really are other people who could pick up the slack, this attitude can easily turn into enabling, which is just as unhealthy as not having anyone in your corner. That makes it extra important to figure out if there really isn’t anyone else who can lend a hand.
5. Expecting everyone to let them down eventually
If someone feels like everyone is unreliable, they don’t have a great track record of people showing up for them and exceeding their expectations. Instead, they’ve probably started to think everyone’s going to let them down, even if they seem great at first.
Therapist Michelle Beaupre, PhD, LCSW, notes that these aren’t the kind of relationships that are worth maintaining. No one should let people they know are going to disappoint them keep doing that over and over again. The problem is that being used to disappointment can make people expect it even when it’s not going to happen. They could give up on relationships that are actually good because that’s not the norm for them.
6. Not having anyone to help them make decisions
Technically, people need to be able to trust their instincts and make choices on their own when it only affects them. That doesn’t mean it’s not nice to have someone to bounce ideas off.
And if the decision is going to impact other people, they should have a say in it. That’s way too much responsibility for one person. They’ll start to feel like everything in the world is up to them, and there’s no way to avoid being overwhelmed in that situation.
7. Feeling like they have to handle everything on their own
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No one is meant to do everything on their own, but it’s not hard to see why someone might feel that way when people made them feel like they couldn’t count on them. If someone spends enough time thinking that they can’t ask for help, they’ll start to believe it’s true.
That’s how people fall into a pattern of hyper-independence, where they do everything themselves. It’s a vicious cycle because they have every right to complain about it, but there’s also no easy way to overcome it when they can’t rely on anyone. They’ll just get stuck there thinking everything really is on them, and feeling guilty when they clearly can’t handle something alone.
8. Thinking no one can be trusted
Some people struggle to trust others because they really have been betrayed too many times. It’s also possible for someone to not trust anyone because they aren’t comfortable with the level of vulnerability it requires.
There’s no way for people to be vulnerable enough to trust someone else when they think they can’t rely on anyone. It will actually feel safer for them to never trust people because the risk of getting hurt is too high.
Although this lack of trust is something they’ll complain about, it’s also something that they’ll be worried about for very real reasons.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
