Men Who Claim To Be Faithful But 100% Are Not Often Drop 9 Subtle Phrases In Casual Conversation
Vincent Santamaria | Pexels Disengagement might be the "point of no return" in bad relationships, but infidelity often feels the most insidious.
When cheaters are so manipulative and deceptive over time, spotting red flags feels like a lesson we all should learn. For example, men who claim to be faithful but definitely are not tend to say certain phrases that become some of the first warning signs of their deceit.
Subtle phrases men who claim to be faithful but are not say casually
1. 'It's not your business'
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Unfaithful partners are never transparent because revealing their truths makes them guilty. To avoid taking accountability or gaslight their partner, they protect their privacy and tell all sorts of lies.
They might say they're deserving of privacy in the relationship, but they're just trying to hide something. It's manipulation and control, not a healthy boundary, despite what they try to convince you to believe.
2. 'I just had something come up'
Everyone's human, so sometimes plans change at the last minute. There are times where we have to cancel and be vague about where we're going because we're in a rush.
But if a man, especially, is consistently using excuses like "I just had something come up" when they cancel plans without letting anyone know what they're doing, it should be a red flag.
They're always vague with a million excuses, but even when they're home, they refuse to be honest. They're hiding something, and even if you don't know what it is, you can sense the lies right away.
3. 'That's not important'
Cheaters omit things from stories, curating a very specific narrative and skipping over important parts of conversations to protect themselves. It's clear they're leaving things out, but they still make every excuse for why.
"It's not important" usually means "It would make me look guilty." When they're invalidating a partner's emotions or concerns to protect their own innocence, it's a clear indication that they're chronically unfaithful.
4. 'They're just awkward'
Immature men protect their own insecurities and fragile egos by justifying their awful behavior. When it comes to cheating, you can usually spot lying in your own partner just by noticing how they act around their friends and how those friends treat you.
An unfaithful man will have every excuse in the book for why his friends are "awkward" or "acting weird," when they're all actually in on a lie together and don't know how to manage.
5. 'They're just a friend'
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We often speak more about people that we like. And for someone who's silently cheating or indulging in romantic interests outside of their relationship, that doesn't necessarily go away.
So, if a man is bringing up someone a bunch of times, and constantly getting defensive after saying "they're just a friend," that could be a red flag. They try to normalize the name in conversations and over-explain their relationship, all of which points to inner blame and fear.
6. 'I wanted to try something new'
It's important not to confuse intuition with unrealistic suspicion or personal insecurity. But often, we pick up on cheating and deceitful energy before we have obvious evidence to support the claim.
For example, a man trying something new out of the blue or saying "I just needed a change" could nudge a partner who is worried about trust.
If a man is suddenly trying new clothes or switching up his hairstyle, and getting somewhat defensive when you probe deeper, he's trying to impress someone. Even if it's watching movies or starting a workout routine, sometimes we're spurred into change when a new person, especially a love interest, comes into our lives.
7. 'They'll never know'
The kind of men who pressure their friends into being deceitful and unfaithful with their own partners will absolutely justify that behavior for themselves. If it's okay for everyone else, they'll find a way to excuse it in their own relationships.
Even if they're not your partner or someone you intend to date, simply noticing this kind of language around a man is a good enough indication to stay away.
8. 'Well, what have you been doing?'
Planting a seed of distrust in their parents and projecting their own self-blame is a common theme for unfaithful men.
They get overly defensive when you ask them questions. They try to flip the narrative and accuse you of things they're already doing. It's clear that they're hiding something, even if you don't know exactly what it is yet.
Some people will always shift blame to others to compensate for their own emotional dysregulation or insecurities, but these men are doing it in a carefully manipulative way. It's a weird way to try and justify their behavior so they don't have to be honest or take accountability.
9. 'Can't I be nice to my partner?'
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When someone's overcompensating for mistakes or cheating, they may seem way nicer than they usually are. They're suddenly more loving and compassionate. They might get you unexpected gifts and shower you with compliments.
Obviously, in the right relationships, this kind of behavior isn't raising red flags. But if you're suspicious about someone acting out of character and it seems like they're hiding something, trust your gut.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
