People Who Have Zero Sense Of Personal Responsibility Usually Say 9 Phrases In Casual Conversation
PabloBenii | Shutterstock Is it just me, or does it seem like people have lost the plot when it comes to owning up to their own actions? If you’re late to work because you stopped to get coffee, you own up to your decision. But not everyone finds it easy to admit when they're wrong.
It takes strength to take accountability, and some people just don’t have it. When I scroll social media, I see a lot of story time videos where people are upset at someone else for their own decisions. Playing the blame game is easy, but owning up to your mistakes shows you truly want to grow. If someone says certain phrases, it’s clear they think someone else is the problem, and it's definitely not them.
Phrases people without personal responsibility have no problem saying to defend their actions:
1. ‘It’s not my fault’
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This phrase is a classic. How many times have you been hurt by someone only for them to claim it wasn’t their fault? This is a go-to defense for people who refuse to take responsibility for their actions. Certainly, it couldn’t be the consequences of their own behavior!
People who lack accountability often become defensive. If you call them out on their behavior or criticize their actions, they’ll quickly try to convince you they did nothing wrong. It’s difficult to get them to admit their faults, and they’ll often do whatever it takes to avoid them entirely. Instead, they view themselves as a perpetual victim who deserves apologies even if they are the wrong one.
2. ‘I can’t believe you’d do this to me’
It’s interesting how quickly your pain becomes an issue for someone who can’t take any responsibility for their actions. Instead of understanding what they did, they’ll say you were the reason they acted the way they did. This is a serious form of manipulation. You’ll be left wondering if you were actually the problem all along.
Manipulators like this use the same tactics over and over again. You’ll see the pattern the more time you spend with them. They often try to make you feel bad for them constantly, making you second-guess your ability to be a good friend or partner. Saying they can’t believe you’d do this to them gives them an out while also making the other person feel guilty.
3. ‘You’re so sensitive’
Sensitivity is a strength many people don’t understand. Being in touch with your emotions allows you to understand yourself. That’s why hearing someone call you sensitive for having a problem with their behavior stings so much. All we want is for that person to hear our feelings and take responsibility for their behavior. Sadly, some people refuse to try and instead place the blame on you.
People who use this phrase are often trying to convince you that their behavior wasn’t a big deal and instead, you’re the one who constantly has problems with them. They can easily play the victim when it benefits them. This pushes people away, and they may not realize it because they are too worried about their image.
4. ‘What was I supposed to do?’
I struggle to understand the decisions some people make and the lengths they go to in order to defend them. At some point, they have to understand they are the problem, right? Not always.
This type of person is guaranteed to let you down and pretend they did nothing wrong in the meantime. This is a form of emotional invalidation. They had no choice but to hurt you; don’t you understand? The lack of personal responsibility becomes exhausting.
5. ‘Well, no one told me’
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This phrase might be the one that grinds my gears most. We expect people to have a strong moral compass, especially when we have one. For them to outright pretend they had no idea how to treat us with kindness is a slap in the face. While taking accountability for our actions takes hard work, it’s offensive when someone won’t even bother to try.
Taking accountability creates positive change in our lives. To mend relationships after feelings are hurt or we’re let down, we grow closer to that person when they take responsibility for what they’ve done. If they’re not willing to, damage to that relationship can be permanent.
6. ‘Look what you made me do’
Some people will always blame others no matter what. They struggle to see any faults in their behavior. Even if they treat someone poorly, they’ll find a way to convince themselves everyone else was to blame. They think they can justify their actions by making the other person feel bad, when in reality, they are avoiding personal responsibility.
This type of person is projecting. They may know what they did was wrong, but refuse to take responsibility. This phrase helps take the burden off their backs but hurts their personal relationships over time.
7. ‘I’m not going to apologize for that’
Some people are incapable of seeing a situation for what it truly is. When they believe they are always right, apologizing can feel impossible. They think it’s not their fault that you experienced pain or disappointment. While they may do so to avoid guilt, it can also be a way for people who refuse to take responsibility to avoid it entirely.
If they won’t apologize, that’s on them. They won’t grow and maintain relationships if they refuse to admit when they hurt someone. Unfortunately, people who fail to take responsibility for themselves get stuck in this vicious cycle.
8. ‘It’s not a big deal’
Someone with zero personal responsibility wants to control the narrative. They’re not interested in hearing about someone else’s feelings. They want to make sure they’re off the hook. This often means completely dismissing everyone’s emotions but their own. They’re not afraid to say something isn’t a big deal even though they aren’t experiencing the pain.
Sure, to them, it wasn’t an issue. They aren’t impacted by it. They might even be happy with how they handled something, even if it leaves someone they care about sad and disappointed. Ignoring their feelings is dismissive, but that is often the goal of people like this.
9. ‘Everyone else does it’
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Most people think going along with the crowd makes them cool. If that causes them to treat other people poorly, then they are missing the mark completely. People who refuse to take accountability see a way out by claiming they are not the only one who acts that way. This exhausts everyone around them because it doesn’t matter what everyone else is doing.
How many times have you heard the phrase, "If everyone jumped off a bridge, would you?" My parents said this to me often, and I always blew it off. However, they had a point. Just because everyone else is emotionally closed off or disrespectful doesn’t excuse avoiding accountability.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
