People With Low Emotional Availability Usually Say 9 Phrases In Casual Conversation
freestocks.org | Pexels Emotional availability is when someone has the capacity to be open and responsive to not only their own emotions, but the feelings of others.
But when someone lacks that empathy and vulnerability, they're often very distant. They aren't interested in connecting with others on a deeper level, and may even use certain phrases when people are trying to be social towards them.
When people have low emotional availability, they say these phrases
1. 'I don't understand what's happening'
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Humans are complex creatures that sometimes let our emotions take over. During a chaotic or heated situation, an emotionally unavailable person likely won't understand what's going on around them.
The situation may make logical sense to them, but they'll miss the emotional nuances entirely. They're so emotionally tuned out of the moment that the smallest thing remains undetected. They find it difficult to relate to others, so they'll be blunt when they admit they don't know what is going on.
2. 'I have to go'
When someone is lacking emotional availability, they'll be the first person to remove themselves entirely from a situation. They'd rather not connect with anyone. But in an attempt to preserve their dignity, they'll say, "I have to go."
Even if they didn't actually have plans to leave, they feel the urge to because they're uncomfortable. Instead of communicating in the moment, they don't want to be a part of it at all. Once they've decided something is not worth their energy, they're gone.
3. 'I don't know what you're talking about'
People with low emotional availability aren't good at taking accountability or admitting mistakes. They lack the ability to self-reflect, so when they're confronted for their behavior, they won't acknowledge their part in it. That's because they aren't in touch with their emotions.
Even when someone brings up what they did, they won't understand why anyone is upset. They're just going to play dumb if it gets them out of the situation.
4. 'I really don't care'
There's something confusing about how honest emotionally unavailable people are about not caring. It's not a good thing to be devoid of emotion towards anything, but at least they're honest.
Still, when they say, "I really don't care," it's not them being hyperbolic. They actually mean it. Whether it's about where you want to eat or even how your day is going, they're going to tell you to your face.
5. 'You're acting crazy'
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Apart from not being able to take accountability, a person with low emotional availability will turn the tables on someone experiencing negative emotions. While you might see it as expressing your feelings, they see it as you being irrational.
To them, expressing any emotion seems crazy. They don't seem to understand that all humans have emotions, and even if they can't quite grasp expressing them, it's quite disrespectful to call someone "crazy," no matter the circumstances.
6. 'Let's just see where this goes'
In a romantic relationship, people with low emotional availability have zero clue about their feelings. They aren't in touch with their emotions, so they'll be very unlikely to want to commit.
According to licensed clinical psychologist Dr. Bethany Juby, "Emotional unavailability can involve commitment and intimacy fears. You might participate in relationship behaviors with someone — go on dates, spend the night together, meet each other's friends — but they don't want to talk about having an official relationship."
7. 'We're doing what I planned'
An emotionally unavailable person loves getting their way because they don't consider the feelings or wants of others. They don't want to ask anyone what they want to do, and are instead focused on following their own impulses.
They bulldoze through life with a "you're either with me or you're not" mindset. Sitting with uncomfortable emotions isn't for them, so rather than start a conflict, they take control to keep things moving.
8. 'Let's change the subject'
People with low emotional availability tend to redirect conversations. When the conversation gets too deep or emotions start coming out, they want to shut it down right away. They have no time or energy to waste on personal matters of anyone else.
They want to keep all topics surface-level, only sharing their thoughts about certain things but never their true feelings. If they feel like the conversation is heading in that direction, they want no part of it.
9. 'I'm sorry you feel that way'
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This phrase is so infuriating. When someone lacks the emotional availability to truly own up to their mistakes, an apology is anything but. They genuinely don't see other people's emotions as their responsibility, no matter what happened.
As a result, they apologize, but only for your perceived emotional state, not their effect on you. To them, you're choosing to feel that way, and they had no part in hurting your feelings. It's just another form of gaslighting that they have no issue using.
Luke Aliga is a writer with a degree in Technical Writing and Communication who covers relationships, culture, and human-interest topics.
