Mentally & Emotionally Inauthentic People Usually Have 6 Habits That Make Genuine People Shudder
Krakenimages.com / Shutterstock Someone who is mentally and emotionally inauthentic often tries hard to hide their truth, but their habits usually give them away.
A person who lives a transparent life will not only pick up the habits they are using to conceal themselves, but they will literally cringe at the show they shamelessly try to put on for anyone who will pay attention.
People who are mentally and emotionally inauthentic often have habits that make genuine people shudder in their presence:
1. Mirroring other people instead of being themselves
This one is really weird when you witness it in person. Inauthentic people aren’t necessarily bad people, but they don’t fully know who they are. They try to mask their true selves in order to be like other people. For example, they may copy your jokes, opinions, goals, and daily habits. They will watch the same shows as you and read the same books even if they don’t really like them.
This kind of person can be exhausting to be friends with. Sometimes people grow out of it and develop a sense of themselves, but others just constantly attach themselves to someone new to copy.
2. Lying for no reason
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Sometimes lying is necessary, such as when you meet somebody and don’t want them to know your personal information, or when you lie to protect somebody’s feelings. Inauthentic people, on the other hand, lie just for fun.
According to psychologist David J. Ley, PhD, people lie because they believe that telling the truth gives up control, or they don’t want to lose the respect of the people around them, they don’t trust their memory, or they really want their lies to be true. Genuine people don’t feel the need to lie, which helps build authentic relationships.
3. Weaponizing other people's vulnerability
Genuine people want to make others feel better about themselves. They are good friends who will listen when someone they care about is in need.
Inauthentic people, on the other hand, will use that vulnerability against them. They will pretend to be somebody’s friend and get them to open up to them, then use it against them. Or, they will paint the other person as being weak.
4. Being terrified of failure
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Obviously, we’re all afraid of failure to a certain degree, but Guy Winch, PhD, explains that genuine people tend to have higher self-esteem. They take time to sit with their thoughts and figure out who they are. They aren't afraid to make mistakes, because they know they will bounce back.
“The reason most people follow conventional routes is they are supposedly 'proven' and 'safer,' and therefore more likely to yield success. On the other hand, taking the road less (or never) traveled is risky and can lead to failure. Yet, genuine people do so because they are not threatened by the idea of failing. In fact, they view failure as an integral part of their journey, a source of learning, and an enriching experience from which they can grow. Because they find failures instructive rather than threatening…” Winch explains.
5. Playing the victim
People with a victim mentality normally develop their mindset as a result of unresolved childhood trauma. Someone who uses this as a coping mechanism will constantly say things like "it's not my fault” or “what did I do to deserve this?"
People with high self-esteem can admit when something is their fault and figure out why. They don’t take it personally. Instead, they own their mistakes and use them as lessons to grow on.
6. Judging others
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Winch explains that authentic people don't judge others. Instead, they try to put themselves in others' shoes.
Inauthentic people often judge others because they judge themselves the same way. Their critiques of others are just projections of their critiques of themselves.
Sophie Bagheri is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and theatre who covers lifestyle topics.
