People Who Are Emotionally & Socially Uncomfortable Usually Say 8 Phrases In Casual Conversation
Andrey Solovev | Shutterstock There have been several times in my life when I have struggled to connect with people. I would think they were always judging me, which would make me uncomfortable, but I always tried to hide it.
There are signs you can spot when someone is having a hard time in a social situation, however. They might lack the confidence to have impactful conversations or ask for help. Instead of connecting, they may say things that hint they are not completely comfortable in the situation.
People who are uncomfortable emotionally and socially may use these phrases when trying to hide how they feel:
1. 'I'm sorry'
Mariana_erato | Shutterstock
Constant apologizing is a sign someone isn’t confident in themselves. Instead of viewing their input as valuable to everyone around them, they struggle to feel heard.
This is a sign of anxiety, which can happen to many people when socializing with others. It’s a compulsion they may have because they believe they are a burden to everyone around them.
We put a lot of pressure on ourselves to be well-liked by others. If someone is uncomfortable in a conversation, they may assume the other person is, too. Saying sorry can be a technique someone uses to help themselves feel better in social situations. If they apologize before someone gets mad, they might think they’re saving a conversation from going downhill.
2. ‘Don’t worry about me’
Some people become dependent on others for support and reassurance. This often leads them to think they are a burden. Even if they are not overly reliant on others, they still fear they are making the conversation uncomfortable. This can start a cycle that becomes emotionally draining. They often want to form strong social connections with others, but their discomfort makes it difficult.
Feeling like a burden can cause people to think they are bothering those around them even when they are not. Most likely, the people in their life care deeply for them. They worry because they want to help them both emotionally and socially. If someone uncomfortable in social situations says this, they can miss out on the support they desperately want.
3. ‘You must think I’m stupid’
In social situations, we can overestimate how others are paying attention to what we say. This is called the spotlight effect. It can feel like all eyes are on us, even when having a regular conversation.
When someone thinks they are being hyper-focused on, they get anxious. Thoughts can spiral, making them feel like everyone around them is not only judging them, but also assuming what they say is stupid. It’s no surprise that this leaves them in an uncomfortable situation. Lacking confidence and emotional maturity can lead them to believe they are unintelligent unless told otherwise because they are filled with self-doubt.
4. ‘Does that make sense?’
fizkes | Shutterstock
Have you heard of impostor syndrome? It’s when someone feels like they’re not good enough or worthy of their achievements. They question their own abilities, feeling like a fraud in their everyday life. This can turn into a situation where someone doesn’t feel they have the right to speak with authority. Overexplaining themselves might be a way they work through this train of thought.
Overexplaining is a defense mechanism. They are worried others will not understand them, so they ask often if they’re following along with the conversation. This can be a compulsion that makes them uncomfortable in social situations, or a sign they grew up in a home without healthy conversation skills. If conversations have never been comfortable or felt constantly doubted, it can lead to emotional problems as they age.
5. 'I'm fine'
Becoming vulnerable with others feels impossible to some people. I have had moments where I’ve lied about being fine to avoid an uncomfortable conversation. What I failed to realize is that with discomfort comes growth. Instead, I hid from it to preserve my ego, because I wasn’t emotionally strong enough to be real with the people I cared about.
We say we’re fine when we’re not for many reasons. It could be to avoid conflict or keep our emotions to ourselves. Holding those things can be easier than getting deep with people. If someone isn’t in tune with their emotions or struggles in social situations, claiming to be fine is simply a band-aid over their deeper issues. The work it takes to feel comfortable opening up to others is uncomfortable, but could serve them well in the end.
6. ‘I don’t usually talk to people about this’
Some people are fearful of things that are everyday, average tasks for others. Sharing their inner thoughts can certainly be one. This might make them nervous about participating in meetings, or being upfront with their ideas. In reality, they are more emotional than they may realize, and instead of embracing it, they bottle it up.
When they finally open up, it can feel uncomfortable. Some people find it easier for them to talk through the hard stuff when given a safe space to share. This can change their lives. When they find someone they feel safe with, they might constantly remind the person that they rarely open up about these things because it’s so foreign to them. Working through these thoughts is hard for someone who struggles to thoroughly understand their emotions and how to share them with others.
7. ‘I’m just kidding’
Have you ever shared something with another person, only to have them react completely differently than you expected? It’s not easy to move forward from. Some people have a knack for bouncing back, finishing the conversation with ease. For others, this can completely change how they socialize.
We all make mistakes, and it is easier for some to embrace them. If someone thinks they said the wrong thing, they may cover it up by saying it was a joke and not their genuine feelings. Or, they may get too real with people and lie about their intentions to get out of the uncomfortable situation. Again, this comes from a fear of vulnerability and judgment, even with people they know care about them.
8. ‘I’m bad at talking to people’
Anastasija Vujic | Shutterstock
Social anxiety is one of the most difficult issues to handle. It changes how we interact with everyone around us. In conversations, this type of person may become overly judgmental, not towards others, but towards themselves. They are afraid of seeming incompetent or dealing with uncomfortable silence.
Whether someone considers themselves an introvert or fears they will make others uncomfortable, this phrase is a sign they don’t trust themselves in social situations. Even if this type of person has never received negative criticism for their conversation skills, they are fighting an internal battle with social anxiety that makes them doubt everything.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
