Women Who Always Feel Like They’re Too Much For Others Usually Have 9 Specific Traits
Bricolage / Shutterstock When someone feels like they’re too much, it’s usually because they have deep emotions that other people just don't know how to handle.
Women experience this more often since they’re already under an enormous amount of pressure. The ones who think this way share certain traits that they’ve picked up to try to make up for what they see as a burden.
If a woman always feels like she's too much for others, she probably has these specific traits
1. They feel embarrassed when they get really excited
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There’s nothing worse than being around someone who makes you feel like the things you enjoy are something to be ashamed of. It’s these kinds of interactions that make women feel like they’re too much when they’re not.
These women have learned to keep their enthusiasm to themselves. If it does bubble over, they shut down. They don’t want anyone to know how excited they really are, especially when it could make them look like a nerd or a fangirl.
This is obviously different from the run-of-the-mill embarrassment that everyone feels sometimes. It’s something that wouldn’t embarrass the average person, which means it probably comes from the way they’re more sensitive than others. This makes them feel like they have to present a fake version of themselves, when most people really crave authenticity.
2. They rarely talk about their accomplishments
Being proud of yourself and having a big ego aren’t the same thing. It’s fine to celebrate your accomplishments, both alone and with others. But women who think they’re too much don’t do this.
At some point, they were led to believe that speaking up about their success would make them look arrogant, so they stopped. They might even struggle with how they react to achievement internally because they’ve spent so much time treating it like it’s a bad thing.
3. They do everything on their own without help
Many people worry that they’ll just be bothering someone if they ask for help, even though most folks do want to lend a hand. This feeling is magnified for women who have been told that they’re too much before. They already feel like a burden just by being themselves, so adding in a request for help is more than they’re willing to do.
These women are the ones who become so independent that it’s actually toxic. They don’t know how to rely on anyone else, even for little things. They think that makes them more likable when it really just makes their life harder.
4. They apologize more than they need to
Therapist Jocelyn Hamsher explained that people who apologize too much often do so because they’re a people-pleaser or they have low self-esteem. Both of these descriptions could easily apply to women who worry about being too much.
Saying “I’m sorry” is like a reflex for them. It doesn’t matter if they actually messed up. What matters is that they might have made someone else uncomfortable by being themselves, so they constantly apologize for who they are instead of what they do.
5. They overthink what they’ve done and said
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A lot of people fall into the trap of overthinking for different reasons. It creates a vicious cycle because most people think their overthinking is helping them in some way, but it never really is.
For these insecure women, the worst part of overthinking is ruminating on the things they’ve said and done in the past. They’ll replay conversations over and over or re-read text messages to analyze whether they reacted correctly. This isn’t healthy, but it’s hard to turn it off.
6. They want reassurance but don’t believe it
Turning to people you trust for reassurance is totally normal. Asking for it all the time is a problem, though. Unfortunately, these women go the extra step of not even believing the reassurance they receive.
They basically need someone else to validate them and tell them that they’re doing the right thing. It feels good when someone backs them up like that, but they can’t hold on to that feeling. It won’t be long before they wonder if that reassurance was really true and they require even more.
7. They don’t act the same way around different people
Being yourself can be challenging under any circumstances, but the extra weight these women carry makes it even harder for them. They might think of certain people as safer than others because they know them better and only be completely authentic around them.
For women who have had a specific person tell them they’re too much, this will feel even more essential. They obviously can’t be 100% real with them, and this might seep into their interactions with other people, too.
8. They spend too much time explaining themselves
Women who feel like too much will be more likely to worry about other people misunderstanding them. They’ll always want people to know their true intentions are good and anything they said or did that came off hurtful wasn’t meant to be that way. That possibility probably never crossed the other person’s mind, but it was definitely on their own.
A lot of the people who fall into this pattern of overexplaining do so because they went through something traumatic in the past that made them feel like they have to keep everyone happy. That traumatic experience could very well be caused by the person who made them feel like too much in the first place.
9. They don’t show everything they feel
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If a woman truly feels like she’s too much, she’ll target the emotions that she thinks are overwhelming for other people. This will mean hiding how she really feels and only showing the bits and pieces of herself that seem the most acceptable.
This will obviously affect her connections with others, but it’s also a problem for her personal health. Her hidden emotions will build up over time and cause so much stress that she might not live as long. As awful as that sounds, she might think it’s a small price to pay to make everyone else feel as comfortable as possible.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
