3 Phrases People Who Seem Totally Unbothered Say Pretty Much Every Day
Andrii Nekrasov | Shutterstock If you have ever been caught in the worry of the moment and felt like there’s no way out, you know how valuable it can be to have a phrase to help accept when a situation is beyond your control. Unbothered people know better than to look for external validation when life gets challenging or when people become too much to deal with.
Research has shown how stress directly impacts our ability to make decisions, while being able to remain calm and unbothered generates security from within by tapping into rational thinking. People who seem unbothered by everything can see how A connects to Z. They know whether it is worth even going there, and if it isn't worth the emotional journey, they use a couple of phrases to say as much.
Here 3 phrases people who seem totally unbothered say pretty much every day:
1. 'It is what it is'
Psychologist Dr. Tarra Bates-Duford explains how this phrase helps people accept situations they can’t control instead of wasting energy resisting them. Repeating it can reduce stress, keep emotions steady, and make it easier to move on rather than getting stuck in frustration.
Research has helped show how feeling like we are in control is a contributing factor to reducing daily stress. A ten-year study suggested that believing we are in control of a situation increases our ability to solve problems, and this ability gets stronger the older we get. Saying "it is what it is" can be one phrase to help gain a sense of control, even if a solution is not apparent.
2. 'This too shall pass'
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This is a phrase therapist Dr. Gloria G. Brame, Ph.D., uses frequently when confronted with difficult but manageable challenges. A fender-bender or a small kitchen fire, while unpleasant, are tolerable everyday accidents that are more easily managed when we tell ourselves, "This too shall pass."
The phrase creates a mindset that helps us stay grounded without sweating the small stuff. Everything depends on context, though. While being unbothered by minor inconveniences is a healthy perspective, being unbothered by your partner's pain or grief might signal something else entirely.
3. 'Everything will work out'
Astrologer Aria Gmitter explains how this simple phrase someone repeats to themselves every day can make them seem unbothered. There's a certain level of wisdom that comes with age, and by that point, we've observed how even disaster has a way of working itself out. Not only does it work itself out, it often paves the way to a better situation where you look back and are almost thankful for whatever you went through.
The idea that everything will work out doesn't mean you won't be sad or that you aren't going to experience fear or grief. It means you see beyond the moment, after the journey is over, to the point in time where the situation has truly ended. You become a victor rather than a victim when you tell yourself it will be okay. You aren't living for a moment. You see yourself open and ready to experience life as a journey.
Research has suggested that mindfulness practices, such as using a phrase to declare you are unbothered by a stressful situation, can help people stay grounded in turbulent times. However, the effectiveness of this type of acceptance varies. Marginalized people often carry a heavier burden of not being socially accepted as part of the systemic structure. Unfortunately, for some people, the situation they face is unlikely to pass, and accepting it as "it is what it is," or uttering, "everything will work out," can hinder the possibility of future change.
Reacting with big emotions to small trespasses will usually cause stress to remain locked in the nervous system. Yet, reacting with no emotion to injustices or suffering is detrimental too. So being aware enough to determine the degree of the issue we are facing helps us decide if saying, "it is what it is, this too shall pass, and everything will work out," will usefully display how unbothered we are with minor annoyances or ignore potentially harmful signs of larger systemic problems.
Will has over 14 years of experience as an editor covering relationships, spirituality, and human interest topics.
