People With One Specific Complaint About Their Relationship Are Much More Likely To Cheat, Research Says
Ronak Valobobhai | Unsplash At the start of a relationship, it's natural to put your best foot forward, so to speak, and hide some of the strange quirks that make you unique. But over time, as trust builds, your true self should come out. If you never show your partner who you really are, however, the relationship could be in trouble.
In fact, hiding who you truly are might even cause you to turn elsewhere, looking for a place where you have the freedom to be yourself. When a partner feels unseen, cheating isn't always about wanting someone else. Sometimes, it's simply about wanting to reconnect with themselves.
People who feel that they have to hide their true selves from their romantic partner are more likely to consider cheating.
New research suggests that individuals with insecure attachment habits and lower levels of emotional closeness may be more inclined to cheat on their partner. The findings, published in the journal Personality and Individual Differences, support the idea that cheating doesn't always come from bad intent, but rather unmet emotional needs and personal insecurities.
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"While people often condemn infidelity as a purely intentional wrongdoing, the psychological drivers behind this behavior are frequently misunderstood," said study co-author Teodora-Elena Huţanu. "I was interested in whether infidelity might sometimes reflect personal vulnerabilities – such as insecure attachment patterns and reduced authenticity – which may be associated with lower emotional intimacy within relationships."
She further added, "While previous research has focused largely on relationship dissatisfaction and other relationship factors as predictors of infidelity, I wanted to go a step further and explore the role of individual characteristics in shaping relational climate and the propensity towards infidelity."
The researchers used surveys to determine how personal characteristics influence infidelity.
Huţanu, alongside fellow researcher Andrei Corneliu Holman at the Alexandru Ioan Cuza University of Iaşi in Romania, recruited over 300 adults via social media who claimed they were currently in a romantic relationship. Each participant completed a set of online questionnaires that were designed to measure specific psychological concepts.
First, the researchers assessed for insecure attachment styles. Generally, this includes anxious attachment, which gives people a deep fear of rejection and a constant need for reassurance, and avoidant attachment, where people are usually uncomfortable with emotional closeness. Previous research has linked both of these attachment styles to a higher likelihood of cheating.
Then, they asked questions about personal authenticity. This refers to whether or not a participant feels that they can express their true thoughts, feelings, and desires without external pressure or judgment. The researchers also had participants report the level of emotional intimacy in their current relationships and how they feel about communicating openly with their partner.
Lastly, they examined each individual's willingness to cheat on their partner with a third party. Participants were given various scenarios related to infidelity and a numerical scale to rate how much they agreed with the statements. When analyzed altogether, the results showed that many of these factors were interconnected.
Those who felt a higher inclination to cheat on their partner reported having less authenticity and emotional intimacy in their relationship.
According to the researchers, individuals with insecure attachment styles are less able to be authentic with their partner and communicate openly. In turn, this lack of openness decreases their emotional intimacy and increases the likelihood that they will seek out a third party.
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"The negative association between authenticity and propensity towards infidelity was a genuinely new and important insight,” Huţanu told PsyPost. “Neglecting one’s true self — what one truly thinks, feels, and desires — is associated with emotional disconnection within a relationship and with greater propensity towards infidelity."
Cheating isn't always driven by malicious intentions or a desire to hurt a partner. This research provides evidence that it may involve more individual and personal factors, such as the ability to be genuine and form a real connection within a relationship, and emphasizes the importance of both partners creating a safe space that's free of judgment.
Kayla Asbach is a writer currently working on her bachelor's degree at the University of Central Florida. She covers relationships, psychology, self-help, and human interest topics.
