If A Man Isn't Willing To Say These 10 Things, He's Likely Not A Very Good Person
Shooting Star Studio / Shutterstock Words carry a lot of weight. This is especially true in romantic relationships. We have to trust that our partners will be able to say certain phrases when things come up in the relationship.
Phrases like ‘I’m sorry’ and ‘I was wrong’ tend to be difficult for some men to say. Letting their guard down and admitting that they were wrong isn’t always easy. Words of affirmation are important. Whether that means a man is taking accountability for his actions, or acknowledging how you feel and promising to make changes, these things need to be said in relationships. If a man isn’t willing to say these things, he’s likely not a very good person.
If a man isn't willing to say these 10 things, he's likely not a very good person
1. ‘I understand where you’re coming from’
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There is power in having our feelings validated by our partner. It shows that they care. By acknowledging where their partner is coming from, they are showing that how they feel matters. Emotional validation creates a special bond between people. It garners trust and support. If a man isn’t willing to say this, he likely isn’t a very good person.
It’s not always easy for men to have deep conversations. It can be difficult for them to let their guard down and take feedback. However, if a man is a good person, he will try his best to do so. A good man wants to be the best partner he can be. Anything that doesn’t show he wants to understand where his partner is coming from makes him a less-than-ideal person.
2. ‘Tell me how that made you feel’
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Feelings are important. If you can’t share your emotions with your partner, the relationship is likely not very solid. If someone is doing something that hurts your feelings, telling them matters. Holding them in can cause resentment. While men may struggle to open up, they must try. If they’re not willing to hear you out, they may not be a great person.
Sometimes, we can be guilty of expressing our feelings in an overwhelming way. It’s important that instead of shutting down, they have an open conversation about how they feel. By expressing how things made you feel, you are both committing to a better understanding of one another.
3. ‘I’m sorry’
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It’s no surprise that ‘I’m sorry’ goes a long way. Some men struggle to give a genuine apology. When your feelings are hurt, you need your partner to acknowledge their behavior. While some people can say ‘I’m sorry’ easily, it’s harder for many to deliver these words with a genuine apology behind them. We all make mistakes; it’s important we own up to them.
If a man isn’t able to acknowledge his mistakes and give a heartfelt apology, he’s likely not a very good person. It takes maturity to own up to our shortcomings. If he doesn’t have that, being in a relationship with him is likely going to be difficult.
4. ‘I was wrong’
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With a good apology comes the admission that they were wrong. It’s important not only to say you’re sorry, but to back it up with your behavior. Admitting you are wrong shows that you do not want to repeat the behavior. If a man struggles to do this, he may not be a very good person. He could be more interested in protecting his ego than in fixing problems in his relationship.
It may take effort to admit that you are wrong. We’ve all had a hard time admitting our problems. It can be difficult to dig deep into ourselves and admit our shortcomings. A man should be able to do this in a relationship, and if he can’t, you may want to show him the door.
5. ‘I appreciate you’
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Few things make someone feel more special than being told they are appreciated. In a relationship, we do a lot for our partners. The least they can do is acknowledge our efforts. If a man refuses to tell you that he appreciates you, it will feel like he doesn’t care about the sacrifices you make. Whether it’s providing extra emotional support or helping him get ready for work each day, the little things we do matter. It helps to hear your partner say they appreciate you.
Appreciation and gratitude go a long way. It makes us feel loved and cared about in our relationship. A man who struggles to do this might not be a very good person.
6. ‘You were right’
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Some men have a difficult time admitting when they are wrong. It can be hard for them to put their egos aside and accept that their partner is right. It’s natural for us to think we know what’s best. However, we will all be wrong at some point. Owning up and admitting the other person was right isn’t always easy, but it’s necessary.
Whether we want to admit it or not, our partner may be right about what we need at times. Being able to drop our egos and say, ‘You were right’ is important. It shows a level of maturity. A man who refuses to do this likely only cares about himself.
7. ‘I'll be honest’
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Honesty is so important, especially in a relationship. We need our partners to be up front with us. Lying can cause serious trouble, and some partnerships may not survive the process of working through these problems. A man needs not only to say they’ll be honest, but actually put it into practice. They say honesty is the best policy, and there is truth in that phrase. Honesty needs to be at the foundation of a relationship.
“Honesty in a romantic relationship is about being authentic and genuine with your partner. It requires saying what you feel and think without hiding, suppressing, or manipulating your words,” says Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD.
8. ‘I love you’
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These words are very important in a relationship. If a man isn’t willing to tell you that he loves you, there may be something deeper going on. We need to feel loved by our partners, but we also need to hear them say it. Some men struggle more with this phrase than others. Those who refuse to let themselves be vulnerable may not be very good people. They may have issues that are keeping them from opening up.
This may come down to commitment. If a man isn’t willing to say he loves someone, he could be dealing with commitment issues. He may not feel the relationship is serious, but he is still leading you on.
9. ‘I'll work on it’
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We’re going to mess up in our relationships. Whether it’s the tone we talk in or the decisions we make. Not everyone will be happy at all times. What matters is how we fix it. Saying ‘I will work on it’ shows that he wants to make things better. It may not change immediately, but it will over time because he is willing to work on it.
If someone isn’t willing to work on their bad behavior, they may not be a good person. Instead of acknowledging their mistakes, they are making excuses and refusing to better themselves.
10. ‘I need help’
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It’s not always easy for men to admit they need help. However, it’s part of life. Everyone needs support at some point. Sharing our feelings can help us feel understood. If a man isn’t willing to admit when he needs help, he may not be a good person. At the very least, he isn’t interested in helping himself.
“Men associate seeking assistance for a psychological or emotional problem with shame or weakness. It is sad, but true. Admitting a problem and seeking help is perceived as being weak. And what is seen as strong, tough, macho, and manly is avoiding problems, ignoring pain, and denying reality,” says Dan Bates, PhD, LPCC-S, NCC, BC-TMH.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
