You Can Usually Tell Someone’s A Genuinely Nice Person By These 5 Small Behaviors Almost Everyone Else Overlooks
PeopleImages | Shutterstock Kindness feels like it’s becoming a rarer commodity by the day, so it makes sense that people would focus more closely on the little things that indicate a person really is nice.
Psychology has shown that kindness is invaluable, not just for the people who are recipients of it, but for those practicing it as well. It can improve your mood and even increase your longevity. A group of Reddit users discussed the “small everyday things” people do that really stand out in a thread, and they proved that kindness isn’t dead, although it may seem that way sometimes.
You can usually tell someone’s a genuinely nice person by these 5 small behaviors almost everyone else overlooks:
1. Checking on people
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Whether it’s asking a friend to send them a quick text when they get home, following up with someone who they know is going through a hard time, or just checking in with people they haven’t heard from in a while, multiple people pointed out what a big deal it is for someone to check on other people.
Licensed graduate professional counselor Darrah Ferguson explained why it’s a good idea to check on others, even when they seem like they have it all together. “The strong friend is everybody’s go-to person, and they hurt the most,” she said. “Not only are they carrying your stuff, they’re carrying their own stuff too. They are the ones that are most compassionate or the most empathetic and struggle to turn those qualities that they give to others onto themselves.”
Everyone goes through rough patches, and it can make a world of difference to know that someone special to you has you on their mind. People who go out of their way to do this are genuinely nice.
2. Showing manners while driving
The highway has, quite honestly, become a bit similar to the Wild West. It’s totally normal to see drivers cutting others off and ignoring the nice things others do for them. People feel it means a lot to a driver when someone waves them through, lets them merge or turn, or simply lets them get into the lane in front.
The etiquette experts at the Emily Post Institute noted that safety is always the most important thing to focus on when you’re driving, but safe driving practices often overlap with those that show common courtesy. Big decisions, like not drinking and driving, show that a person cares for others, while smaller decisions, like using turn signals, can do the same. It may be minor, but it shows kindness.
3. Avoiding gossip
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It’s not surprising that multiple people thought that not talking about other people behind their back is a sign of a nice person. If someone fills their conversations with talking points focused on other people, it reflects badly on them, especially if they’re pointing out what they believe to be that person’s negative qualities. How can you expect them not to do the same to you?
Therapist Hannah Rose, LCPC, said, “When we gossip, we are fertilizing our minds with toxicity and judgment.” Gossip not only makes it difficult to know who you can trust, but it can also lead you to be more judgmental of yourself than you normally would be. People who avoid this unkind act are truly special, and they’re the kind of people you want to surround yourself with.
4. Taking care of things that don’t belong to them
It’s easy to take care of your own possessions. No one wants anything bad to happen to their own stuff, after all. Extending the same courtesy to things that don’t belong to you is very telling. This may look like someone putting their shopping cart back when they’re done at the store, picking up a piece of trash on the ground, or something else entirely.
According to the British Psychological Society, we all want to be careful with our own belongings because we see them as “extensions of the self.” The concept of owning something helps kids begin to develop their identity at a very young age, and that never really stops. Genuinely nice people can acknowledge that shared items are important to everyone and deserve a high level of care, too.
5. Respecting people who work in the service industry
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As backwards as it may sound, some people are considered to have a higher status than others. For example, most would place a CEO higher in the social hierarchy than a server. But, at the end of the day, all people are humans, and they all deserve to be treated equally and with respect.
Therapist John Amodeo, PhD, MFT, noted, “The need to feel respected is universal. Without it, a relationship withers, no matter how much love is present.”
Everyone deserves to be treated with the same standard of respect. Their ability to help you become more powerful yourself should be irrelevant to the respect they’re shown. It’s become common to treat people differently based on their station in life, but genuinely nice people never do this.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
