It’s Almost Impossible Not To Like Someone Who Uses This Phrase When Meeting Someone For The First Time, Says An Entrepreneur
Just dance | Shutterstock In 2014, Paul Ford, an entrepreneur, writer, and programmer, shared exactly what to say to people when you first meet them to make them immediately like you.
His tried-and-true phrase is all about empathy and connecting with the stranger you're talking to. And as it turns out, the smallest of gestures and the simplest of phrases are always the key to connection.
An entrepreneur says it's almost impossible not to like someone who uses the phrase 'Wow, that sounds hard' after asking about their job.
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When you're at a party or event and find yourself in a conversation with someone you don't know well or even at all, try to see how long you can hold off talking about what they do for a living.
Ask plenty of questions and let the other person do most of the talking. After you've exhausted all other getting-to-know-you party topics, such as how they know everyone at the party or what they're drinking, ask the person you're chatting with what they do for a living.
But right after they tell you, say, "Wow, that sounds hard." Almost everybody thinks their job is hard, and when someone acknowledges that it sounds difficult, you feel validated.
Empathy allows people to bond even when they don't know each other well.
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Humans respond to empathy, and it helps forge connections between people. As author and psychology professor Ronald E. Riggio, Ph.D., described it, "Empathic concern is the ability to read others’ emotions, feelings, and attitudes, and the ability to demonstrate that you are sympathetic. Charismatic people are able to 'connect' with others. People who have met well-known charismatic individuals – Bill Clinton, Oprah Winfrey, JFK – noted that they made you feel 'like you were the only person in the room.' Charismatic people work to try to understand others, their feelings, and their concerns."
That's exactly what "Wow, that sounds hard" does for the person talking about their occupation. It makes them feel understood. It makes them feel that you are really listening to them.
Ford explained, "I once went to a party and met a very beautiful woman whose job was to help celebrities wear Harry Winston jewelry. I could tell that she was disappointed to be introduced to this rumpled giant in an off-brand shirt, but when I told her that her job sounded difficult to me, she brightened and spoke for 30 straight minutes about sapphires and Jessica Simpson."
Showing empathy is not exclusive to talking about work.
Ford explained that he is raising his son with the same focus on empathy. He told the story of his son, Abraham, who was two years old at the time, and was at the playground with his mother. She said Abraham approached a woman wearing a hijab and asked, "What's your name?" She said her name.
Then, he held out his hand and said, "Nice to meet you!" and gave her the firmest handshake a 2-year-old could give, just like his dad taught him. Ford is raising his child to show empathy and politeness to everyone. We need a little more of that in our world right now, huh?
Empathy is known as social glue, as it helps bind people together and creates harmonious relationships. And when you're polite, you show regard for others in manner, speech, and behavior. Asking questions, showing interest, and being empathetic make dealing with you pleasant and enjoyable and help build a relationship.
So, the next time you're at a party, ask about someone's job and then recognize how tough it must be. You'll be surprised at how much better people will respond to you socially.
Christine Schoenwald is a writer, performer, and astrology lover. She's had articles in The Los Angeles Times, Salon, and Woman's Day.
