Couple Who Met At Age 4 & Have Been Married Nearly 70 Years Say This Is The Secret To A Happy Partnership
Halfpoint | Shutterstock If you want to know the secret to a happy partnership, you can't really do better than a couple who've been married nearly 70 years and have known each other since they were 4.
Nonagenarians Marilyn and Bob Ritchie of Texas are coming up on their 70th anniversary, and the magic ingredients they say have made their marriage so durable could not possibly be simpler. Seriously, when you make it as long as they have and happily so, you listen to that advice.
A couple married nearly 70 years shared their simple secret to a happy partnership.
Marilyn and Bob Ritchie, 91 and 90, respectively, have made their home in Temple, Texas, for decades, where they've shared activities like singing in their church choir for ages. Commonalities like that are what first drew them to each other and have kept them together.
Born in the 1930s, the Ritchies have witnessed extraordinary change and, no doubt, have undergone plenty themselves. But they've managed to stay together for nearly seven decades after first meeting in their hometown in California when they were just four years old.
“We met in our backyards when we were four," the couple told Texas' Local 12 recently, but soon fell out of touch, reconnecting in college. Separation came again when Bob joined the military, but they kept in touch through letters.
Bob even proposed in one of their letters in the 1950s, and they married in August of 1956. This coming August, they'll celebrate the kind of milestone few couples actually achieve. So how did they do it? They say it all comes down to very simple things.
The Ritchies say the secret to their long marriage is simply humor and friendship.
The Ritchies love each other deeply, of course. But they also LIKE each other a lot, which is more than a lot of couples can say for each other. (You're probably already thinking of a few couples you know personally who barely enjoy each other's company anymore!)
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“His sense of humor has gotten us through a lot of things,” Mrs. Ritchie said. "He is my best friend," she added, before her husband quickly interjected: “We are both best friends." That friendship has been the key, they say, as have communication and patience.
Of course, shared interests like their love of music help too, as did looks back in the day: Mrs. Ritchie's attractiveness is what made Mr. Ritchie realize he had known her in childhood. “I said [to my friend] Todd, ‘Who was that dark-headed girl?’ He said, ‘Well, that’s Marilyn Lombard. And I said, 'I know her!'," he told Local 12.
Psychologists have long said that marriages built on friendship last the longest.
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Beauty fades, as the saying goes, as does that initial rush of attraction based on physicality and romance. It seems people often get so distracted by those things that they tend not to notice that they don't actually have much in common until much, much later on in the relationship.
But therapists and experts say that friendship is the strongest foundation on which to build a lasting marriage. Research by psychologist Dr. Suzanne Degges-White, for example, shows that not only does friendship make a marriage last, it also makes both partners feel better about themselves.
Her research showed that the stronger the friendship, the closer to "best friends" partners were, the higher their self-esteem. "You can't love someone else unless you love yourself" is a cliche for a reason. It seems to be the key to a lasting marriage.
Psychologists have also found that this friendship dynamic holds true regardless of the age of the partners in question. And, perhaps most telling, married people who consider their spouse a friend and not just a marital partner also cheat less.
That will surely not surprise anyone who's known one of those couples who seem to treat their friends better than they treat each other. The Ritchies are a perfect example of what to build a relationship on: mutual connection and affection, not just attraction or romance. Those lose their lustre eventually, but friendship can last forever.
John Sundholm is a writer, editor, and video personality with 20 years of experience in media and entertainment. He covers culture, mental health, and human interest topics.
