7 Things Couples Who Actually Like Each Other Do As Soon As They Wake Up, According To A Psychologist
Drazen Zigic | Shutterstock A psychologist named Mark Travers explained in an article for CNBC Make It that mornings are often considered the most "underestimated aspects of a relationship." Travers, who studies couples, has noticed a few morning habits of couples who actually like each other.
According to Travers, the happiest couples he's ever come across are the ones who use their mornings productively, leaving the house on the same team, even if they're going in opposite directions. When a relationship is actually healthy, and both people involved are truly happy, it shows up in small, almost mundane moments throughout the day.
Relationships aren't just about going on elaborate dates or grand gestures, but about the times spent in ordinary life, including the habits a couple has with each other when they wake up in the morning.
Here are 7 things couples who actually like each other do as soon as they wake up:
1. They acknowledge each other
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If you're scratching your head wondering how a couple living together and waking up together not acknowledge each other, you're forgetting how robotic and rushed mornings in most households can be. Groggy and in need of coffee while also dreading the list of endless tasks that have to get done before darting out the door, it's easier than you might think to neglect your partner amid the morning rush.
Couples who actually like each other slow down for a moment, even if it's just for a glance and a smile that conveys, "Good morning, I love you." Research published in 2015 found that mundane everyday moments and gestures, like simply touching hands while grabbing a cup of coffee or wishing each other good morning before jumping out of bed to get the kids ready for school, are integral to the foundation of a strong, loving bond.
These gestures and acknowledgments take seconds, but their impact is profound. Couples who actually like each other don't view acknowledgment as an inconvenience.
2. They save stressful talks for later
"Mornings aren’t ideal for heavy conversations. Cortisol levels are naturally elevated upon waking, meaning your body is already primed for stress," Travers explained. "Trying to tackle nuance or conflict too early can activate that response even more."
Happy couples who actually like each other are comfortable sharing a quiet moment together rather than going through their to-do list or continuing an argument from the night prior. They become a peaceful anchor for each other rather than a task master.
Family therapist Jason Drake, LCSW-S, BCN, explained, "It’s easy to start the day with responsibilities. 'You’ve got to pick up the kids, ' or 'Don’t forget to pay the mortgage.' Starting the day with a daily to-do list can put a strain on the relationship. " He went on to add, "It’s best to start the morning with fondness and admiration for your partner. Showing affection and communicating kindness goes a long way."
3. They share one honest sentence about how they’re feeling
This is just a simple check-in about how they are each feeling. It could be as simple as, "I'm nervous about my doctor appointment this afternoon," or "I'm just not feeling myself today." Travers recommended couples just be honest about their feelings, whether they're experiencing anxiety that morning or excited for the day ahead.
When your partner knows your mindset, they can offer the support and energy you need. It can also help prevent misunderstandings because they are both being upfront about their feelings. Hiding your state of mind only invites conflict. Couples who actually like each other appreciate these honest check-ins because they provide the information needed to support the person they love.
4. They prioritize one morning routine
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Couples who actually like each other will often have one morning ritual they view as "sacred," according to Travers. It doesn't have to be anything elaborate, but just something consistent that belongs to them. The predictability of the ritual can be extremely comforting, especially when mornings are already so rushed.
For some couples, it's the routine that whoever gets up first makes coffee for the other person. But it could be as simple as a hug before getting out of bed. It's carved out time that the two share. It's like a secret handshake that creates a special bond between partners.
"One of the things that can help keep your relationship strong is to do things together in some of the leisure time you have available," insisted psychologist Scott Stanley. "Some couples have a number of clear, common interests, which makes it pretty easy to decide what to do when you have, or make, the time for it. But if you don’t, it will take more thought and care to find what works."
5. They use physical affection intentionally and not as a habit
"In many relationships, physical affection in the morning gets reduced to a rushed goodbye kiss on the cheek, if that. But happier couples don’t budge on this. They use touch intentionally to ground themselves," explained Travers.
Couples who actually like each other know that physical affection with their partner helps them feel emotionally grounded and secure, especially first thing in the morning. In fact, research has shown that physical touch floods the body with oxytocin, the love hormone, which decreases cortisol, the stress hormone, regulates emotions, and simply makes people feel good. It's also linked to bonding, meaning couples who prioritize intentional physical touch feel more connected to each other.
6. They tackle the morning rush like a team
Couples who actually like each other understand that mornings can be rough. Instead of letting one partner shoulder all the responsibility, they team up and tackle the rush together. When you've got a teammate on your side, the stress becomes more manageable.
"We need to make our partner a priority. That is how we rebuild a connection that feels lacking. Prioritizing a partner takes effort from both people, and at times, one partner might not feel like making an effort. My antidote to this is: Don’t wait for the feeling; take action," encouraged psychotherapist Kelli Miller.
Instead of feeling annoyed or overwhelmed, couples make sure to actually communicate their needs and make the best adjustments that'll help them keep things from boiling over. It makes mornings feel so much lighter and manageable because no one feels like they're just running through their routine all alone with zero support.
7. They send each other off on a positive note
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Couples who actually like each other want their partner to start their day on the right foot. Telling your wife that she is going to have a great day at work, is a huge boost to her self-esteem. It sets the tone for the day.
"Often, the smallest actions, done consistently, can have the most profound impact. Encouragement and genuine recognition help create an environment where they feel valued and motivated to grow alongside you," Travers said.
The words may seem minor, but they can really help shift the perspective on how someone approaches a day they know will be busy and a bit overwhelming. "You are going to kill it in your meeting" can mean the world to your boyfriend, who might be stressed and anxious. Couples who truly care about each other have each other's backs, and they want to send them off at the start of their day knowing they are loved and supported.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
