The Often Overlooked Trait That’s Far More Attractive Than Physical Looks, According To A Harvard-Trained Expert
Matheus Bertelli | Pexels When it comes to love, physical attraction is definitely important. But as Vanessa Van Edwards, a people expert and Instructor at Harvard University, recently revealed in an interview on the "Diary of a CEO" podcast, there's one often overlooked trait that's far more attractive. And it's kind of a laughing matter.
For singles in 2026, dating is a different world. No longer is meeting in traditional places like a bar, the grocery store, or church your best option. Instead, the place to find love is online dating. Dating apps often give limited space for a bio about yourself and rely mostly on photos to judge whether someone is worthy of a swipe.
Unfortunately, looks, especially online, can be deceiving, and that trait alone, even if the photos are true to life, will not build a strong and lasting relationship. There are a multitude of traits that can make someone more attractive that have nothing to do with the color of their eyes or the cut of their jaw, but as Van Edwards pointed out, there's one that stands out from the rest and it's not something you can find on an app.
The expert said humor is an often-overlooked trait that is more attractive than physical looks.
If you’ve ever been given dating advice, you may have heard the standards for how to flirt: gentle touches, maintain eye contact, and point your body in their direction, to name just a few. But when it comes to the true language of love and attraction, laughter and the ability to make someone laugh are leaps and bounds above even the best pick-up line.
The interesting thing about humor, however, the rules are different for men and women. Van Edwards explained, “Women list humor as a number one trait they want in a man. Men don’t care so much about humor in a woman. They want a woman who laughs at their jokes."
It's official, guys. You can stop lying about your height. Instead, you might want to start brushing up on your humor. All joking aside, it's a good thing that women want a funny man, and men want a woman who finds them funny; it's complementary.
Van Edwards is definitely on to something. In fact, a 2022 study found that, when it comes to flirting, the most effective technique for women was to laugh and giggle, making their date feel funny, whereas men were more effective flirters when they focused on humor and conversation.
Attraction is much more complex than just finding someone handsome or pretty.
It's happened to all of us. You meet someone. You're not particularly attracted to them, but by the end of the night, you're feeling those telltale butterflies in your stomach. That's because traits like humor impact your perception of looks. It's also why dating apps can be limiting.
Non-physical traits can have a strong pull in determining attractiveness, just as much if not more than physical traits. It's exactly why someone who is objectively attractive can be perceived as less unappealing if, for lack of a better phrasing, their insides don't exactly match their outsides.
Outside of humor, there is also something called similarity attraction. This is when we are attracted to people who like the same things as us and share similar values and viewpoints. It's also why things like politics can become dating dealbreakers, regardless of appearances.
Laughing at his jokes doesn’t just make you more attractive; it feeds your brain.
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That connection, when you are just having a good time and laughing, is good for you. Laughter doesn't just feel good, either; it reduces stress and anxiety, which, let's face it, are turned on high during a date.
That's why you should really just let yourself indulge in some good-natured giggling. Heck, let your full natural laugh fly, even if you might snort or cackle. In a 2015 study, Professor of Communication Studies Jeffrey Hall, at the University of Kansas, found that “the more times a man tried to be funny and the more times a woman laughed at his jokes, the more likely she was romantically interested."
Dating is hard, but maybe it doesn't have to be. Maybe it's time to remember that having fun, telling jokes, and laughing are the true recipe for love. You can boost your mood by laughing at your date’s jokes, and he can feel good about himself for making you laugh.
Even if the match isn't destined for a second date, that doesn't mean you can't have fun in the process. And next time you meet someone who doesn't look exactly like what you envision for your perfect match, why not strike up a conversation anyway? By the end of the chat, you might feel differently.
Laura Lomas is a writer with a Master’s degree in English and Creative Writing who focuses on news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
