Parents Who Raise Truly Good Humans Do These 11 Things Differently Than Everyone Else
PeopleImages / Shutterstock Did you ever see a kid who was a total angel? Like, the type of child who doesn’t have a bad bone in their body? It’s not a matter of them being born that way, but rather the effort that their parents put into them, as parents who raise truly good humans do several things differently than everyone else.
Raising a good person isn't an easy thing these days. There are distractions everywhere that make parenting challenging, and modern technology can bring out the worst in people. Let’s talk about the habits that make people into better folks.
Parents who raise truly good humans do these 11 things differently than everyone else
1. They emphasize that winning isn’t everything
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It’s so easy to get sucked into the “win at all costs” mentality that is so pervasive in our society, but that’s not what makes a good person. A good person realizes that winning isn’t always the good thing it’s painted to be.
Teaching your child to lose gracefully is incredibly important, not just for their morals but also for their social skills. Parents who raise good adults tend to talk to their children about the importance of losing well, encourage their kids to relax about competition, and work with their kids on this issue.
2. They thank their children for finishing chores
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This is such a simple habit, but it’s such an important one to start doing. Thanking your child after they complete a chore (even an expected one) is a way of showing them the power of gratitude.
Many parents note that thanking their children after chores makes them more likely to keep doing them. It helps them learn what it takes to be a full-fledged adult in a way that benefits their self-esteem and makes them easier to live with.
3. They are thoughtful about discipline
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One of the biggest issues that children face today is a lack of discipline. Discipline happens when children actually face consequences for the things they do and what they say. As parents, it’s not easy to figure out what discipline should entail.
Parents who raise good kids tend to give positive attention for good deeds but also impose consequences for negative behavior. Those consequences can be anything from taking away video games to explaining to their kids what the behavior has led to.
4. They try to understand why their children do things
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Kids who act out rarely ever do so out of the blue. There’s always a reason behind it, even if they can’t quite figure out how to explain what they did. Understanding the “why” allows parents to eliminate the bad symptom by addressing the cause.
More often than not, kids are rational people. This is especially true as they get older. Asking why can help parents understand what’s causing their child to act out without causing too much strife in the family.
5. They are open and loving toward their kids
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One of the easiest ways to raise a good person is to show them what a healthy family looks like. That includes showing them a lot of love and affection, encouraging them to be themselves, and being supportive.
The Gottman Institute notes that having a highly affectionate home leads to more confident, communicative kids. In other words, it makes it easier for them to have healthy relationships and also helps them avoid habits that could turn toxic.
6. They hold their kid to a high moral standard
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Harvard researchers noted that parents of extremely well-behaved, empathetic kids spend a lot of time teaching their children to care for others. They also tend to hold their children to a much higher moral and empathetic standard than others.
It’s kind of like the Pygmalion Effect. If you tell kids that a certain standard is the bare minimum, that’s going to be the standard that they try to work with. If you show that they can do more, they will believe they can do more.
7. They keep an open line of communication with their kids
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As a child of neglect, I want to point out that one of the worst things you can do to a kid is make them afraid to talk to you. This is how kids end up learning to compound their problems, become wary of others, or turn to the wrong people for support.
You want to be open and honest with your kids. You also want to give them a safe, nonjudgmental place to go for advice. That’s not always easy, considering how things are these days. Yet, the truth is that having that safe space will strengthen the bond your children have with you.
8. They lead by example
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When it comes to kids, there’s a lot of truth to the phrase, “Monkey see, monkey do.” Kids are not stupid. They notice when a parent’s actions don’t quite match what they say they'll do. It actually messes with their minds a bit, too.
That’s why great parents tend to be the ones who lead by example. When your child is young, you are their real-life superhero. So you might as well work it in to show them that life can be good if you’re a good person.
9. They make a point of teaching emotional resilience
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Let’s face it: being a good person is not always the easiest thing to do. It’s actually very hard to have integrity in this world. And at times, it just feels so easy to be the one stepping on others and undercutting others for personal gain.
Teaching your children how to have a bit of emotional resilience is a great way to toughen them up so that they can stick to their guns. The more you teach your children the value of resilience, the better off they’ll be.
10. They teach their children the importance of self-expression
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Does it ever feel like every parent you meet wants their kid to sit down, pipe down, and stay quiet? Too often, parents tend to try to get kids to bottle up their emotions. This is especially true with boys, who are often told that crying is a sign of weakness.
Telling kids not to cry tends to cause issues, especially when it comes to internalized self-loathing or toxic masculinity. Telling your kiddo to “man up” can actually make them pretty angry people later on.
11. They don’t treat parenting like a race
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As a parent, it’s oh, so easy to fall into the trap of treating every milestone of your child like a race. This can be a major problem when you’re trying to teach your son or daughter that life isn’t all about accomplishments, but rather, what you are able to give to the world.
If your child isn’t quite at the pace of everyone else, don’t panic. Don’t freak out. Just tell them to keep going at their own pace. At the end of the day, teaching them to persevere is the best thing you can do for them.
Even if the best parents didn't raise you, it doesn't mean that your child has to face the same consequences as you. To raise a truly good human, a parent needs to start working on themselves first. Parenting is a wonderful journey, so be gentle with yourself if you make a few mistakes along the way. Remember, it's a valuable lesson for your child to see that everyone learns and grows from their experiences.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.
