If You Love Doing These 3 Small Things On Your Own Time, You're More Introverted Than You Think
Signs your introverted nature is insisting on the boundaries it needs to thrive.
Amie Roussel | Canva You don't have to avoid parties or live in total solitude to be more introverted than you initially think. Maybe it's the quiet routines you savor or the way you recharge in peace. Or maybe it's the simple moments that feel wildly better without an audience. If you genuinely love doing these small things when you have extra time, there's a good chance your personality leans more introverted.
If you love doing these 3 small things on your own time, you're more introverted than you think:
1. Getting lost in a hobby you do solo
A private hobby is usually a good sign that someone is introverted at heart. Gardening was my wake-up call. I realized I was perfectly happy spending long hours every day in my garden. I didn't need or want company. I felt joy in the work itself.
Hobbies you do for your own pleasure may never make it to Instagram. They are more about personal rituals that recharge you. Some people draw or paint in private and never share their art. Others may spend hours every day chasing down action figures or model train sets, or maybe they collect vinyl records. If you have something you do regularly that you don't feel compelled to share, or which you keep private from everyone but close friends, that's a strong signal of introversion.
Hobbies fill a void for introverts, and research showed introverts acquire knowledge in different ways than extroverts. We need time to do things that belong only to us. It's not about secrecy. It's about engaging in something that feels almost sacred. The private joy is where we restore ourselves, away from the world's noise and expectations.
2. Enjoying time when you don't have to be 'on'
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When I garden for hours, alone and focused entirely on the plants and the little creatures I encounter, it's not about avoiding people. It's about needing time where I'm not "on" for anyone.
These hours aren't just a relaxing escape. I do hard physical work out there. These moments are a balm to my brain. The time allows me to silently recharge and process feelings, thoughts, and ideas without the static of conversation or expectation. I take great pleasure in sharing my garden with visitors, but it’s not nearly as relaxing as doing garden chores.
Many people mistake extroversion for friendliness, but introverts can be just as social and warm. The difference is in how we restore ourselves. If you regularly crave activities like long solo walks, hours lost in a book (or a bookstore), or working quietly on a project, not because you're lonely, but because you genuinely need that stillness, a study suggested you're likely more introverted than you realize. It's not about hating people. It's about needing to return to yourself.
3. Following a schedule
I've noticed some of the people we used to call "lifelong bachelors" or "spinsters" were really people who liked to stick to their own strict habits. For example, eating meals only at specific times, or only eating specific dishes or foods.
Their rigid routines weren't very negotiable, not even for social opportunities. When they did compromise to be social, they came home slightly dissatisfied and relieved to be in their own space, where they could resume their typical daily routines.
Perhaps it wasn't that our old-time unmarried folks were rejected suitors or spinsters at all, but people who needed to protect the structure they deliberately set up for their lives. Their routines created predictable pockets of solitude and self-care that marriage would have disrupted. Introverts need consistent rituals to manage their limited social energy, and in earlier eras, staying single may have been the only way to maintain those boundaries.
If you find yourself unavailable more often than most people simply because you're committed to maintaining your personal rhythms, that's your introverted nature insisting on the boundaries it needs to thrive. You're in good company with those wise "lifelong bachelors and bachelorettes" who knew what they needed long before we had language for introversion.
Dr. Gloria Brame, Ph.D., is a board-certified therapist who focuses on helping adults overcome both functional and emotional problems from a progressive perspective.
