After Planning & Budgeting For 5 Years, 'Overwhelmed' New Parents Still Can't Afford Childcare For Their Newborn
Even when you do everything right, you still can't win
Africa Images | Canva Pro The cost of having a child is staggering, no matter what the circumstances, and it's one of the key reasons so many young people are choosing to forgo having kids at higher and higher rates.
But the experience two new parents shared on Reddit shows just how dire the situation really is: Even after scrimping and saving and literal years of planning, the financial reality that has befallen them now that their baby is here is nevertheless untenable.
The parents can't afford childcare, despite having saved up for it over five years.
In pretty much every way, this couple is not like most new parents who find themselves blindsided. They've been together for 15 years, been married for five, and have had tons of conversations about exactly what they wanted in life and the pros and cons.
After five years of marriage, they decided they were ready to have a baby. "We knew childcare would be expensive," the dad wrote in a Reddit post. "We made a budget, tracked spending," and prepared, prepared, prepared.
He admitted that the numbers never looked particularly great to them, but it didn't look disastrous. They decided to call it "good enough" and forge ahead. But now that their baby is three months old and it's time for them both to go back to work, the financial reality has sent them spinning.
Their nanny share arrangement fell through, and now childcare costs as much as their rent.
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"What we didn't realize is that getting someone to watch our 3-month-old… will probably cost as much as our rent," he wrote, and now that the nanny share the couple set up with nearby friends has fallen through, they're starting to panic.
"It was gonna be tough to afford 1/2 a nanny at 2-baby prices. Now? I just don't know and neither does my partner," he wrote. And while they understand the other couple's reasons for declining the nanny share, they are really left in the lurch. "We're exploring all our options and we're coming up empty," he wrote.
They've discussed the lower-earning parent becoming a stay-at-home mom, but she is afraid that it will kill long-term earning potential. They've even looked into taking on debt for childcare, "but who even gives loans to hire a nanny?"
Childcare costs are now rising faster than both housing and college tuition in much of the US.
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Regardless of the circumstances, one thing is for certain: These parents are absolutely not alone. Childcare costs in the U.S. have become so absurdly expensive since the subsidies put in place during the pandemic were permitted by politicians to expire, and the current administration cut more critical funding.
According to an analysis by the Economic Policy Institute, the annual childcare cost for a single infant now exceeds rent in 17 U.S. states and in-state college tuition in 38. And the cost of raising a child overall has surged 25% just since 2023, with childcare making up the bulk of the increase.
It should not surprise you to hear that the current administration has no announced plans to do anything about this. Some states are, however. New Mexico recently changed its state constitution to enshrine free childcare as a basic right; other states like Massachusetts have begun grant programs, and a handful have universal pre-K provisions.
That's a start, but cold comfort for the vast majority of parents. And in this couple's case, they place the blame squarely on themselves. "I just hate myself," the dad wrote. "For not planning better. Not earning more. I just feel… like I'm failing my son and my partner."
However, it is not the parents' fault that they live in a country where childcare funding is being eroded. None of this is any parent's fault. But the people in power are surely counting on them to continue thinking so.
John Sundholm is a writer, editor, and video personality with 20 years of experience in media and entertainment. He covers culture, mental health, and human interest topics.
