3 Life Lessons Meghan Markle Learned The Hard Way About Being Authentic
Marrying a prince didn't make learning these lessons any easier.
DFree | Shutterstock Meghan Markle met Prince Harry back in July 2016 when a mutual friend set them up. The "Suits" actress and the grandson of the Queen of England hit it off on that blind date that seems like a lifetime and a million royal scandals ago. The last nine years haven't exactly been fairytale perfect for the American princess, but like with most things, the struggles of life can present a wealth of opportunity to grow and heal, and in Meghan's case, to become her most authentic self.
In the years since marrying Prince Harry, Meghan has been publicly scrutinized over everything from her fashion sense to the legitimacy of her pregnancies. However, instead of withering under the pressure, she has put herself and her family first, and now she's thriving, as she should.
In finding her authenticity, Meghan Markle was forced to learn three difficult life lessons:
1. Meghan quickly found out that royal tradition outweighs Hollywood fame
It’s no secret that Meghan was overjoyed to marry Harry, and their wedding at St. George’s Chapel was nothing short of perfect, at least from the outside looking in. However, Meghan couldn’t exactly have the wedding of her dreams as she was forced to abide by royal rules and regulations, founded in long-standing tradition.
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For example, Meghan’s wedding attire had to follow relatively strict guidelines. Her gown had to be modest, with long sleeves, and she had to wear a tiara. In Harry’s memoir, "Spare," he explained that Meghan wasn’t permitted to wear the tiara she had originally picked out, but she did get to wear her second choice, Queen Mary's bandeau tiara.
And while Meghan seemed open to following the rules, she also made sure that she included some of her own touches. For example, her dress was modest, but she chose a boat neck to give it some added flair.
Her wedding wasn’t the only time and place that Meghan’s fame took a backseat to her new royal life, either. After she gave birth to her son Archie in 2019, for example, she and Harry debuted the baby in a media call, but not hours after his birth on the front steps of St. Mary’s hospital like other royal family members before them. Instead, Meghan gave birth at Portland Hospital in Westminster, London, and introduced the baby to the world in St. George's Hall at Windsor Castle two days after he was born.
2. Meghan learned the importance of setting boundaries
Meghan and Harry found true love and wanted nothing more than to spend their lives together, building a family and enjoying everything life has to offer. However, their happiness didn’t flow as freely as they would have liked.
The media attention surrounding Harry and Meghan was nearly unprecedented, with an infatuation that hadn’t really been seen since Harry’s mother, Princess Diana, stepped onto the scene. When in Hollywood, there’s a saying that no press is bad press, but Meghan’s experience would beg to differ. The Duchess received a great deal of negative attention due to the fact that she was a divorcee, mixed race, and an actress from California.
Moreover, just about everyone wanted information about the woman who turned “bad boy” Harry into a family man. This curiosity led to harassment from the paparazzi, negative news stories, and damaging rumors that Harry and Meghan were essentially forbidden to respond to, due to the nature of the long-standing relationship between the U.K. press and the royal family.
This was perhaps a turning point for Harry, who wanted to protect his wife and his son. Over the past several years, the Duke of Sussex has filed numerous lawsuits against British media publishers, accusing them of invading the couple’s privacy, among other things.
In January 2025, CBS News confirmed that Harry settled his lawsuit against the U.K. newspaper group News Group Newspapers, which is owned by Rupert Murdoch. “NGN offers a full and unequivocal apology to the Duke of Sussex for the serious intrusion by The Sun between 1996 and 2011 into his private life, including incidents of unlawful activities carried out by private investigators working for The Sun," the media company said in a statement following the ruling.
Through all of this, Meghan learned the importance of setting boundaries while staying true to herself. She never stooped to the level of gossipers and naysayers, but she also refused to silently take the abuse. She handled it all with the grace of a princess born to royalty rather than married to royalty.
3. Meghan discovered how doing what's best for you can change other people's perceptions
Things got so bad for Meghan and Harry that the couple decided it was best for them to step down as senior members of the royal family. After delivering the news to Queen Elizabeth and Harry’s father, now King Charles, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex moved out of the U.K. After spending some time in Canada, they purchased a home in Montecito, California, where they still reside today.
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Through all of the scrutiny that Meghan has faced since she started dating Harry, she’s put her best foot forward and carried on with things that she’s passionate about.
After being cut off financially from the royal family, Harry and Meghan took it upon themselves to earn a living and start living their lives on their own terms. They inked massive deals with Spotify and Netflix and founded Archewell, a non-profit with one motto: “show up, do good.”
Despite the odds stacked against them (and plenty of online hate), Meghan and Harry made lemonade (with freshly picked lemons from their garden). And regardless of what the media has to say, Meghan has continued to do what she loves most.
She has put her children first, affording them the opportunity to grow up outside of the public eye. She’s supported Harry in all that he does, from the Invictus Games to his beloved hobby, surfing. And, lastly, she’s found that being her authentic self isn’t always easy, but it’s important, and it can be achieved with a little bit of finesse.
Effie Orfanides is a contributing writer for YourTango who has been reporting on celebrity and entertainment news since 2009.
