Husband Insists Wife Close Her In-Home Daycare Because His 'Space Is Being Encroached Upon'
He feels like his wife's small business has left him and his children without the physical and emotional space they need in their home.
Dragana Gordic | Shutterstock Sharing a space with anyone, including the ones you love, is no easy feat. Now, imagine sharing that same space with tons of little kids who aren’t your own. It sounds like a recipe for disaster.
For one man whose wife ran an in-home daycare, it was. Despite the way she was able to supplement the family’s income, he felt he had no choice but to force her to shut it down for his sake and his kids’.
In a Reddit post, the husband said he had had enough of his wife’s decade-long in-home daycare operation.
He asked if he was in the wrong to demand that his wife end her in-home daycare because it was taking up the physical space he thought should have existed for his family. “Our living room has been converted to a classroom and so it’s unavailable for my family to use 24/7,” he explained in the post.
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Unfortunately, it’s not just the living room that has been taken over by the daycare. “In addition, she converts the dining room to daycare space every workday and converts it back by the end of the day on most days,” he continued. “At least once a week, [sometimes] more, she doesn’t feel like it and we end up eating dinner in front of the TV so she can leave the dining room set up as daycare space.”
“It feels like my space is being encroached upon and I really hate the mess this creates,” he confessed. “I feel like I have lost my autonomy, sense of peace and quiet, and privacy in my home.”
Adding to the man’s problem is the fact that he works from home, so he spends most of his time there.
“Except for nap time, it feels like a chaotic zoo,” he said. “And every morning the parents gather in our kitchen for about half an hour chatting. I like them, but sometimes I don’t want to see them.”
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This has left him feeling like he is hiding in his own home. “Sometimes I’ll stay in my bedroom or office until they have left so I don’t have to see them,” he said. “Our own kids do the same because they don’t want to see them.”
In an edit to his original post, the man clarified why he was home so much of the time. “I work at home a few times a week to avoid commuting — work is 50 minutes away on a good day,” he shared. “I can’t leave my job. I make more than 75% of our household income and carry all of the benefits for our family.”
While the family clearly does not need the money his wife brings in running the daycare, he described the situation as “ideal if she works,” which is why he wants her to pivot in another direction.
Really, it’s possible that there is no right or wrong answer here.
It seems like both this man and his wife have solid arguments to make. To make a strong judgment, more information would be needed about the daycare, like its operating hours and how many kids attend. Without knowing these variables, it’s also really impossible to estimate how much money the daycare is bringing in for the family.
Another thing to consider is how long this husband has been working from home. If it's a new remote position that might be impacting his sudden irritability about the business, which she has had for over a decade. Perhaps he could rent an office space or they could designate an office area that could be soundproofed so his privacy wouldn't be impacted.
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With that being said, SageVest Wealth Management pointed out that there are many advantages to living in a dual-income household. Even though it may not be financially necessary, it opens up new doors for a family that might not have been possible otherwise. It also offers an added layer of security against economic downturns and periods of unemployment.
Still, the concerns of the family have to be taken into account. If the daycare is really interfering with day-to-day life on such a large scale, it may be time to consider switching things up.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
