People Who Can’t Stop Themselves From Interrupting Usually Have These 11 Reasons
They are listening to respond, not listening to understand, and it shows.
Mahir KART / Shutterstock People who consistently interrupt others when they are talking are often perceived as rude or inconsiderate. We assume they just have bad manners, but sometimes the disruptions are caused by deep psychological patterns like personality traits, life experiences, and unmet needs. They aren't trying to be dismissive, but they find it difficult to let other people finish speaking before they jump in.
Chronic interrupters aren't always trying to intentionally be disrespectful, but their actions have a definite impact on the person being cut off. The behavior is frustrating, but uncovering the hidden reasons for it can lead to better understanding and more thoughtful interactions. There are many reasons a person might finish other people's sentences or talk over them. Let's talk about some of them so we can recognize these patterns and build healthier and more balanced conversations.
People who can't stop themselves from interrupting usually have these 11 reasons
1. Fear of forgetting their thought
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Some people interrupt because they're afraid they might forget what they wanted to say if they wait. Their brains are moving at warp speed, and they want to get their ideas out before they slip away. The worry that the brilliant thing that's sitting on their tongue will vanish into thin air before they can share it causes them to overtalk you in their excitement.
For people with fast-moving minds, interrupting protects them from memory lapses that might cause them to omit information they think is important. They are scared that if they don't get it out immediately, the idea or insight will disappear, and they will be left with nothing meaningful to contribute.
2. Learned behavior from early childhood
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Chronic interrupters may think that doing so is completely normal. In their adolescence, they were raised in a competitive communication style, where everyone overtalked each other and no one saw it as a problem. It was not only normal, but expected for conversations to be filled with interruptions and interjections, so they have no idea how disruptive it is for other people.
In childhood environments where communication was chaotic, speaking out of turn was viewed as a natural progression of the conversation. Waiting patiently for someone else to stop talking before you started was never modeled or reinforced, so it became the default.
3. A deep need for validation
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Sometimes people who really want to be in the spotlight interrupt to insert themselves. They don't feel seen or heard, so they talk over others, and they become the main character in every interaction. Because they've felt ignored in the past, they have a strong desire to make sure their voice is acknowledged. They crave validation and attention, and that is the easiest way they can get it.
Interrupters can be subconsciously looking for people to acknowledge and affirm them. It's their way of making sure their presence is felt. They don't necessarily devalue others, but they secretly fear they will be left out, so they force their way in without any diplomacy.
4. Social anxiety
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Some interrupt because they are very anxious about sitting in silence or uncertainty. Their own quiet moments make them uncomfortable, and their social anxiety pushes them to fill the empty space with words, even if someone else is speaking. This anxiety might make them throw all decorum out the window and speak out of turn.
For people who tend to interrupt when others are speaking, pauses in the conversation can trigger discomfort or insecurity. So, they speak quickly to reduce the emotional tension they might feel. But by doing this, they add to their own anxiety because people might become standoffish or less willing to engage in further dialogue.
5. Misinterpreted enthusiasm
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What feels like being interrupted to one person might seem like engagement to another. Many people who like to interrupt chime in because they have been energized by the conversation. They are vibing with you and feel a strong sense of connection. They have no idea that their timing is inappropriate and disruptive.
That presumed excitement and shared energy are all in their head, and they are misinterpreting your level of enthusiasm to match theirs. They don't mean any harm and are not trying to dominate the conversation. They are just overly eager to relate to what is being said and deepen the connection between the two of you.
6. A desire to stay in control
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Though it is masked as general rudeness, a person may interrupt as a subtle way of controlling the conversation. They could be uncomfortable listening to perspectives that are different from theirs and try to redirect or correct what someone else is saying. The disruption is their subconscious way of balancing their emotional equilibrium.
This is especially true of heated discussions or intense debates. Those are filled with disruptions because people want to drive home their point or fix your perception to match theirs. They think they are coming from a good place, but the people being interrupted see them as controlling, adversarial, and dismissive.
7. Dominance and entitlement
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People who are in positions of power or influence love to be the loudest voice in the room. They believe that their opinions carry more weight than everyone else's, so they should take priority. This is true of people who were allowed to dominate conversations growing up and were never corrected for their disrespectful behavior.
This internalized belief that one's input is more valuable than everyone else's could be reinforced by their professional status, gender roles, or family dynamics, where listening was not a requirement and assertiveness was embraced and celebrated. They were conditioned to dominant conversations and given a sense of entitlement that carries over into adulthood.
8. A lack of impulse control
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Some conditions, like ADHD and other neurological conditions, can cause a person to struggle with controlling their impulses. Waiting for their opportunity to speak can be difficult because of how they are wired. They may have the best intentions, but they don't match the impact.
Poor impulse control due to mental conditions or the way a person was raised can lead to frequent interrupting. It's not on purpose, but these individuals are genuinely having a hard time withholding their responses until there is a pause in the conversation.
9. Using assertiveness to mask insecurity
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We've all met that person who jumps into a conversation at the most inopportune time to prove that they are knowledgeable about the topic discussed. They want to be relevant so bad that they assert their intelligence at the wrong time and turn others off.
Though interrupting seems overzealous and narcissistic, it can actually be driven by low self-esteem. People who don't recognize their own worth find unhealthy ways to prove it by overexerting their presence or trying to be a subject matter expert in every topic. They are scared that if they don't add anything to the conversation, they will be overlooked or deemed unintelligent.
10. Listening to respond, not to understand
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For people who always interrupt, your words will go in one ear and out the other. They have no desire to understand and empathize with what you are saying. They just desperately want you to hear what they have to share. While you're pouring your heart out, they are coming up with a reply instead of listening, so interrupting is the natural outcome.
This failure to take in information means they are not fully present in the conversation. They are so busy mentally preparing to make their next point that they cannot possibly find common ground or validate what another person is saying. They have created a dynamic where other people don't feel heard, so they might start avoiding talking to them at all costs.
11. A lack of self-awareness
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It is totally possible that a chronic interrupter has no idea how they are showing up in conversations or understanding of their impact. People may have allowed them to behave like this without repercussions or accountability, so they are oblivious to how they are perceived and to how it feels to be over-talked all the time.
This lack of self-awareness makes them blind to how often they interrupt. This communication style has been normal and effective, so they don't see the problem. If no one is willing to give them constructive criticism about the way they engage in conversation, they will continue to step on other people's toes and never have the experience of a true give-and-take interaction.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and the author of seven books. She focuses on lifestyle and human interest stories that deliver informative and actionable guidance on interpersonal relationships, enlightenment, and self-discovery.
