Study Reveals The Unusual Place Couples Are Going To For Help With Pre-Wedding Jitters
Among celebrity snark subReddits and AITA posts are brides and grooms seeking real advice on Reddit.
DimaBerlin | Shutterstock Reddit is full of AITA posts, bad boss horror stories, and celebrity snark threads. But, according to new research, it is also where many engaged couples are going for help with pre-wedding anxiety.
The study revealed that couples are going to Reddit for help with pre-wedding jitters.
SubReddits like r/wedding and r/weddingplanning are filled with advice about everything from budgeting and choosing the right vendors to bridal makeup and wedding etiquette. There are also countless posts from brides- and grooms-to-be expressing anxiety about their upcoming nuptials.
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"I'm getting married in less than two weeks, and everything is pretty much taken care of and done. But my anxiety is in overdrive and it's driving me nuts," one user shared. "I'm just wondering what others did to deal with the anxiety in the lead up to the wedding and if anything worked (or didn't)."
In another post, a bride asked, "Is this normal to be dreading your wedding day? If you've experienced this, what advice do you have to get yourself excited?"
Fellow redditors advised going for a walk to calm their nerves, doing deep breathing exercises, and writing a list of reasons they are looking forward to the wedding, like seeing old friends and eating cake. Others offered comfort, assuring the posters that they are not alone in their anxiety.
Reddit provides real-time anonymous advice.
Reporting on the research for the University of Missouri, Eric Stann described the social media platform as "a natural sounding board for people to express their thoughts and concerns about getting married before standing at the altar."
Dr. Kale Monk, an associate professor in Mizzou’s College of Education and Human Development, led the research published in the Journal of Family and Marriage. He and other researchers analyzed data from 36 Reddit posts about premarital hesitation, as well as 2213 associated comments from 1535 unique individuals.
They discovered that many people with premarital concerns are drawn to Reddit because of its anonymous and unfiltered nature. People are able to express doubts and concerns that they are unable to share with those they know personally, often out of fear of judgment or pressure to seem fine.
"We saw that people seemed more comfortable being open about their unease on Reddit," he said. "They’re not just venting — they’re asking for real advice from strangers who aren’t personally involved in their lives."
Of course, advice from Reddit isn't always reliable.
While some people on Reddit expressed normal wedding anxiety, others had cold feet and were truly considering calling off their engagements. That is a serious decision, and not one to take lightly or make based on Reddit comments.
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It's important to remember that those posting advice on Reddit are strangers with presumably no qualifications. Reddit also tends to breed negativity, so take their advice with a grain of salt and seek real help if you have serious concerns.
"Getting advice from strangers online might feel comforting, but it’s not always reliable," Monk said. "A trained therapist can help you figure out whether your concerns are serious or something you can work through — and that’s a lot better than waiting until after the wedding when things are harder to undo."
If you do have pre-wedding jitters or cold feet, it is important to talk to someone about it. Bottling up your feelings does no good. While a trusted friend or professional is more beneficial, Reddit can certainly help, too, especially if you feel that you can't talk to anyone else.
Audrey Jaber is a writer and associate editor with a bachelor's degree in journalism.
