New Dad Refuses To Let His Sister Meet His Baby After She Insulted Him & His Husband For Using A Surrogate
"I just can't imagine her around my child when she was so adamantly disdainful toward us during his conception and throughout the pregnancy."
Ladanifer | Shutterstock A woman may never have the chance to meet her nephew after making ignorant comments about his conception and how he became a member of her family. According to the woman’s brother, he and his husband opted to welcome their first child via surrogacy. Instead of simply being happy for the couple, she has taken every opportunity to make ignorant comments about the surrogacy process. Understandably, her brother has refused to let her meet their new baby boy and isn't sure if he will ever let his aunt get to know him.
A new dad does not want his sister to meet his son after she insulted him for using surrogacy to have the baby.
Sharing his story on Reddit, the 28-year-old man revealed that when he and his husband decided they were ready to have children, they turned to surrogacy to make their family dreams come true. After sharing the news with family over dinner, he said the only person who wasn't on board was his 34-year-old sister. The woman had some strong feelings about the surrogacy process and believes it is an unethical way to have children.
“She spent the rest of the dinner my parents were hosting essentially ranting about how surrogacy is misogynistic, exploitative, that we're gross for wanting to rent a woman's body,” the man wrote.
While the man believes that his sister is entitled to her opinion, she spent the rest of the pregnancy taking shots at surrogacy every chance she got instead of celebrating with her brother and brother-in-law.
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Two months after the man’s son was born, he began slowly introducing him to family members. When his sister asked when she could come meet her nephew, the man obviously felt conflicted, given her attitude throughout the pregnancy. “I told her I didn't particularly want someone around him who was so against his entire existence,” he wrote. “I said that if she had it her way, my son wouldn't even be here.”
The man’s sister told him that he was being “unfair.” However, he can't imagine allowing his son to have a relationship with someone who was so adamantly against his conception. He asked other Redditors if he was overreacting.
Most people agreed with the man’s decision forbidding his sister from meeting his son, given her constant insults about his conception.
“I'd keep her far away from your sweet child. First chance she gets when he's older, she'll probably tell him to his face what she's always felt and tell him that he's not really a part of the family,” one Redditor commented. “My husband and I did IVF after years of infertility. A family member was very open about how IVF was a sin and even called my unborn child an abomination and a lab rat. We still have very limited contact with this person and have NEVER nor will we ever allow them to be alone or close in contact with our child,” another shared.
Others noted how the man’s sister was perpetuating a misogynistic attitude herself, believing that women do not make the empowering choice to be a surrogate themselves.
“You didn't force anyone to carry your child, and there are many women who would gladly volunteer to be a surrogate. Even some women who can't carry a child opt for surrogacy. "Your sister has feminism all wrong, it's about women being able to choose what to do with their lives,” one Redditor pointed out. “Surrogate here! I enjoy being pregnant, and I don’t get any of the normal symptoms (morning sickness, headaches, exhaustion). I’m about to give a family a child and that’s so cool to me that I’m able to do this incredible thing and change someone’s life,” another shared.
No one forces a surrogate to carry a child for someone else.
Some women may just enjoy being pregnant and want to use their abilities to help other families have children who are unable to carry them themselves.
Becoming a surrogate is a lengthy and detailed process that ensures all parties know exactly what they’re signing up for. First, a woman needs to contact a surrogacy professional or agency. She will then need to complete an application before undergoing screening processes, including medical and psychological assessments that triple-confirm that she is aware of the decision she is making and the expectations that come with it.
Surrogates typically receive a base compensation depending on where they live and receive reimbursable benefits for things such as additional medical bills, travel, bedrest, and childcare. Everything is legally contracted, so the terms are clearly defined and costs are itemized.
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For some couples who dream of becoming parents, surrogacy may be their best option. Even though you are entitled to your own personal opinions regarding the process, it is not your place to weigh in on the decisions of others who are starting their families, and it's certainly not okay to make false assumptions that a woman’s uterus is being held hostage.
Nobody’s journey to becoming a family is going to look the same. It doesn’t make it wrong. If you choose to continuously insult how people’s children come into existence, you cannot expect them to grant you a relationship with them.
Megan Quinn is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in English and a minor in Creative Writing. She covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on justice in the workplace, personal relationships, parenting debates, and the human experience.
