5 Things Love Shouldn’t Feel Like — No Matter How Normal They May Seem
Just because it's common doesn't mean it's necessarily healthy.
They’ve Started To Seem Mr Arif | Canva Love is one of the most complex yet simple things we have. It's an important emotion, but other things need to exist for it to flourish. Love shouldn't leave you feeling anxious or scared.
Research supports that healthy love doesn't involve fear of expressing yourself or engaging in activities without permission. It should feel like coming home, and not these five things.
Here are five things love shouldn’t feel like, no matter how normal they may seem:
1. Love shouldn’t feel like pressure
It shouldn’t feel like you’re supposed to be or act a certain way. When you’re with someone, you shouldn’t feel that you have to change the person you are to make them happy or satisfied. You shouldn’t have to worry about being anything or anyone other than who you are.
2. Love shouldn’t feel like expectations
It shouldn’t feel like the other person is wanting you to give more than you can or that he or she is ‘owed’ something from you. This is not a transaction or a ‘deal.’ You should never feel the need to give parts of yourself, ever, especially when you’re not ready.
Shifting the focus from unmet expectations to genuine acceptance and open communication fosters a more authentic and fulfilling connection in love. Research has found that this aligns with the concept of unconditional positive regard, which is crucial for building trust and promoting emotional well-being in relationships.
3. Love shouldn’t feel like twisting in your belly
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That's telling you that something isn’t right. It should feel safe. This physical sensation can be a physical manifestation of this underlying anxiety and fear of abandonment. An article by Northwestern Medicine suggested that for some, this feeling might be triggered by even minor events, such as a delayed text message or a perceived threat to the relationship.
4. Love shouldn’t feel insincere
You shouldn’t feel like the other person is holding back or hiding something from you. You shouldn’t imagine the potential relationship like a puzzle, one that you’re supposed to solve. This isn’t a game. It isn’t meant to be anything other than genuine emotions expressed and built upon.
The perception that a partner is expressing their true thoughts and feelings promotes a sense of trust and stability within a relationship. Research strongly suggests that love and strong social connections, built on sincerity, have been shown to reduce feelings of loneliness and depression.
5. Love shouldn’t make you fearful
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Because with the right person, the right timing, and the right relationship, the pieces fall into place. Because when you’re with the person you’re meant to find, everything will feel right, even if it’s imperfect and messy. Because real love is never perfect, but it doesn’t hurt, doesn’t leave you confused, and doesn’t take anything but your breath away.
Marisa Donnelly is a freelance writer and editor who has been featured in the Huffington Post, Bustle, Elite Daily, Better Homes and Gardens, and more.
