Groomsman Asks If He Should RSVP 'No' To His Friend’s Wedding Because His Girlfriend Wasn’t Invited
Should he suit up or sit it out?
fizkes | Shutterstock Generally, wedding etiquette states that every member of the wedding party — that's bridesmaids, groomsman, the best man, and the maid of honor — should automatically be given a plus one. "Giving your crew the ability to invite a date is a token of gratitude for their love and support," Brides.com explained.
One engaged couple seemed to miss this memo. A man on Reddit explained that he was invited to be a groomsman at his friend's wedding; however, his girlfriend, with whom he lives, didn't even make the guest list.
The groomsman asked if he should RSVP 'no' to his friend’s wedding because his girlfriend wasn’t invited.
Now, according to Brides.com, proper wedding etiquette dictates that every member of the wedding party get a plus-one, regardless of their relationship status. Still, the man explained in his Reddit post that his intended plus one isn't a fling, but his long-term girlfriend.
"We will have been together two years at the date of their wedding and have currently lived together for 8 months," he shared.
This lack of an invitation wasn't a mistake or oversight, either. The man explained that the bride-to-be has always had an issue with his girlfriend, even describing her as "the one you are currently sleeping with" when they first met.
When confronted about the lack of a plus-one, the groom said, "They are tied to the list they made early last year." Seeing as the man was already dating his girlfriend at the time, that excuse did not make the Redditor feel any better.
The bride and groom have the right to decide who they want at their wedding, but the polite move is to offer a plus-one.
Weddings are undoubtedly expensive. The Knot's 2025 Real Weddings Study found that the average wedding cost is $33,000. That's no small amount, and each guest adds to the overall price tag. So, of course, it's the bride and groom's prerogative to invite whom they want to celebrate their special day, and sometimes, that means no plus-ones.
However, it also costs time and money to be a member of the wedding party, which is why many experts suggest allowing all bridesmaids and groomsmen to bring a plus-one.
"It's important to remember your wedding party has not only given you their time, love, and energy, but they've also spent a lot of money on attire, lodging, and transportation, for multiple events," The Knot writer Chapelle Johnson explained. "Trust us on this one — they deserve a plus-one.
Even if this man wasn't a groomsman, Johnson would still recommend the couple give him a plus-one since he and his girlfriend live together. "Any couples who are engaged, live together, or have been dating for over a year should get a plus-one," she said.
Many people online insisted that he should skip the festivities.
"Not inviting a groomsman’s live-in girlfriend is not an obligation, but it is a serious breach of friendship and etiquette," one commenter wrote.
"Why would you be a part of a wedding of someone who disrespected your partner?" another user questioned. “If you choose to attend the wedding, you are risking your relationship."
"They purposely left her out, and now you need to stand up for the woman you love and see a future with," a third Redditor advised. "Who needs friends like this anyway?"
The man seemed to agree with this consensus and, in an update to his post, shared that he was "99.9% certain" he was going to decline the invite. While his girlfriend encouraged him to attend the wedding to keep the peace, he admitted that he has "no qualms" about losing his friendship with the bride and groom.
Erika Ryan is a writer working on her bachelor's degree in Journalism. She is based in Florida and covers relationships, psychology, self-help, and human interest topics.
