Dad Stands By While His Wife Trips Over Unpacking Bags & Their Two Kids From The Car — 'Looks Like A Married Single Mom'
This mom is definitely carrying the emotional, and literal, load of parenting.
Kampus Production / Pexels Parenting requires more hands than possible, so it's probably a weight off a parent's shoulders when they have a co-parent or partner to help with the duties. That means sharing responsibilities with housework, the daily process of getting the kids ready, and splitting specific childcare-related commitments.
Unfortunately, not all two-parent homes find themselves sharing those duties, and sometimes, one parent may find themselves shouldering everything at once. Such is the case for one woman whose experience with unpacking the car caused an uproar online.
A dad stood around idly on his phone as his wife fell backwards while unloading bags from the car and holding a baby.
In the video, the mom hurried to unpack the car with a baby in her arms. The dad was standing by the car, looking at his phone. The mom had a bag on each shoulder while also cradling her baby. She then accidentally tripped over her older child, at which point the dad was forced into action.
As the mom lost her balance and fell, her husband paused for a moment before checking on their daughter, his phone still in his hand.
People exclaimed that she was a "married single mom" despite her husband standing next to her. The majority of people also questioned the dad's response, as well as the fact that he wasn't offering his wife any help in unloading the car or watching their children.
"Love the fact that he was there to do nothing," one person said. Another person noticed, "That phone never left his hand," then asked, "Sir, why is she doing everything?" followed by multiple red flag emojis.
The phenomenon of 'married single motherhood' is nothing new — many moms feel they do the majority of household and parenting labor despite having a partner.
A 2011 "co-parenting" survey from TheBump.com and ForbesWoman.com polled over 1,200 working and stay-at-home moms about parenting habits and their dynamics with their partners.
The survey results determined that many moms carry the majority of the burden when it comes to both raising kids and caring for their household.
According to the survey, 24% of working and 28% of stay-at-home moms reported that sometimes they feel like a "married single mom," meaning that although they are partnered, they feel like they do the majority of parenting labor, as if they were single parents.
Almost one-third of all moms surveyed said they feel their partner could be more helpful or supportive. Seventy percent of working moms and 68% of stay-at-home moms reported feelings of resentment towards their partners due to the imbalance of labor completed in the home.
The survey also noted that 92% of working moms and 89% of stay-at-home moms felt overwhelmed by the multitude of responsibilities they carried.
An additional survey from Pew Research Center determined that while most mothers believe they take care of more responsibilities around the home, many men believe those duties are shared.
As the survey found, "64% of mothers in two-parent households say that they do more than their spouse or partner when it comes to managing their children's schedule and activities... while many fathers (53%) concede that the mom in their household does more of this than they do, dads are much more likely than moms to say this responsibility is shared equally (41% vs. 31% of moms)."
The study also established that 41% of mothers who are married or cohabitating say they take on more responsibilities and chores around the home, whereas only 8% said the father does more. Around 50% of respondents said they share chores and duties equally.
The point is that, while an absolute even division of labor isn't necessarily possible in families, ideally, parenting couples can reach some sort of equitable balance in parenting and household tasks.
Many moms feel that they hold the burden of being the "preferred parent," while also carrying the mental and emotional load that comes with raising small humans into adults. It's important that moms feel able to express the complexity of their emotional range and recognize that they can love their children, but not love the rigidity of the roles they hold as parents.
For the parents in the video, perhaps it was just one moment where the man stood idly by and didn't help, and the mother felt helpless in the situation. Hopefully, this is the case, and this couple understands the balance that comes with parenting together.
Alexandra Blogier is a writer on YourTango's news and entertainment team. She covers social issues, pop culture, and all things to do with the entertainment industry.