5 Professions People Should Avoid In A Spouse If They Want A Lasting Marriage, According To A Divorce Lawyer
It might be worth considering before you settle down.
Denis Kushnarenko | Shutterstock No two marriages are exactly the same, but according to one lawyer, certain professions tend to create marital troubles more commonly than others. A divorce attorney known as "KK" on TikTok posted a since-deleted video explaining a time when she was still in law school and a colleague of hers shared a curious perspective about marriages with men in certain professions.
Of course, most people who tie the knot do so in the hopes of a lasting union, but there's much more that goes into a successful relationship than just loving each other and walking down the aisle. As KK learned, outside influences and stressors associated with particular professions can play a huge role when it comes to the stability of a union.
Spouses with these five professions have a higher divorce rate:
Although her account no longer exists, others posted KK's video, which was quite insightful. She said, “When I first started practicing family law 13 years ago, a woman attorney gave me a statistic about the top five professions of men that women should avoid marrying."
Originally, she explained, she thought that it was an odd statistic that someone would bring up, but over the course of her career, she was reminded of it again. “Over the course of my career, I’ve watched my most difficult cases and, shockingly, many of them involved men in these five professions,” she continued.
1. Firefighters
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Disregard the romance novel trope, because although the profession is undoubtedly noble with that air of danger, it's risky for a spouse for different reasons. In fact, although the numbers are high for both male and female firefighters, the worst offenders when it comes to rates of divorce were among female firefighters. There's actually research to back it up.
A 2015 study found that among male firefighters, the overall divorce rate reflected national averages. For women in fire service, that number was much higher. According to the study, it was actually 3 times higher than the national average for women.
So, what gives? Well, the reasons haven't exactly been studied, but plenty of family attorneys have theories. According to Speaks Law Firm, stress plays a major factor. They referenced a Canadian study, which found that nearly half (48%) of firefighters admitted to finding it difficult to maintain healthy relationships while working as active firefighters.
Still, it doesn't exactly explain why. It seems the unusual schedules, which often require overnights in the firehouse, play a factor, and that would certainly be true for female firefighters who did double duty as moms. Additionally, the trauma of the job itself, combined with increased health risks associated with everything from the long-term effects of smoke inhalation to potential death, all combine to make being married more difficult.
2. Police officers
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While there is controversy surrounding actual numbers when it comes to divorce rates of police officers, mainly because the stats are a bit dated, the general consensus is that the numbers are high. A 2016 analysis of research estimated the divorce rates to be somewhere between 66 and 75 percent.
Missy Morris spent 28 years on the force and wasn't shy about what she called the old adage "Never marry a cop." In a piece written for Lexipol, she explained, "More than 40 hours a week, month after month, year after year, police officers race into chaos and attempt to restore order. We bark orders and demand compliance because lives depend on our ability to control the actions of others. We get used to laying down the law and bending others to our will."
And therein, she claimed, lies a huge part of the problem. Marriage doesn't work that way, and trying to turn that dictator attitude off is not easy. Combine that with stress, sleep deprivation, and often confiding in other officers rather than a spouse when dealing with the highly emotional nature of the job, and it adds to the stress on relationships.
3. Military personnel
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Are you starting to see a trend here? High stress and high risk, mixed with jobs that require absolute compliance for safety's sake, seem to be a recipe for problems. Enlisted military personnel are no exception.
The average for all branches of the military for divorce falls somewhere around 30% of enlisted servicepeople. Younger demographics are closer to 50 percent. According to Ciancio Ciancio Brown, P.C., "Infidelity in military marriages is a major contributor to divorce numbers, including an infidelity rate of 22.6% among married airmen." The same firm also found that one of the major contributors to relationship problems, especially in military marriages, is distance. Sixty percent of spouses have reported communication issues with active duty members.
This makes sense. Living separately for long stretches of time can put serious strain on a relationship. It also becomes difficult to simply understand each other when you're living such different and separate lives.
4. Surgeons
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The distinction between surgeons and other physicians is significant in this case. According to a 2025 comparative study, 21.3% of surgeons were divorced compared with only 17.9% of nonsurgeon physicians.
The reason for the difference is murky, but high stress impacting mental health, which bleeds into relationships, has been thrown around much like the other professions on the list. Other factors were loneliness, overwork, burnout, and for spouses who were not both in the medical field, simply a lack of being able to communicate about work stressors. You know that stereotype about doctors cheating with nurses in the same hospital? Yeah, in this context it makes a lot more sense, right?
5. Pilots
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According to Census Data reported on by Creative Planning, the actual rate of divorce among pilots is around 30 percent, although some stats say it's much higher, and it's equally as high for flight attendants, probably for the same reasons as listed by the anonymous pilot. That time apart, much like with active duty military personnel, has a huge impact on all relationships, and that can impact mental health, which inevitably causes problems if the issues aren't addressed.
Keep in mind that statistics can tell you the percentage of marriages that fail and why, but they are not proof that yours is destined to.
"If you're married to somebody in one of these professions, it doesn't mean that you're doomed to failure," KK said. "It doesn't mean that your husband is a bad person."
Statistics don't know anything about your spouse or potential spouse, nor do they know anything about you or your marriage, but it’s certainly something to keep in mind before saying "I do."
Isaac Serna-Diez is a writer who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics.
