Self

Why You Need To Stop Letting Him Dim Your Light

Photo: Africa Studio / shutterstock
woman with candle

By Brittany Christopoulos

Age and different types of relationships we enter, change the way we view the world. Experiences mold and shape us, lessons stick with us forever, and our opinions are always on the verge of changing.

But the more I observe this world, the more I recognize that women aren’t able to express themselves. Or be proud of themselves. And that infuriates me.

I can’t stand the type of men who hold their girlfriends back.

To me, these men are insecure. It doesn’t matter if the insecurity concerns their relationship, the fear of losing the person or the status of being in a relationship, or simply their masculinity. These types of men are insecure, point blank. Period.

Just because a man is insecure does not mean that a woman who has so much to offer the world has to hold herself back.

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These cowardly men don’t even deserve to be called men when they act childish like boys. These boys should not be letting their girlfriends pay for their own insecurities.

People like this need to let their girls shine instead of dimming their light.

Ladies, if you make more money than your man, be proud of that. We live in a generation where there’s a gigantic pay gap, so be proud of yourself. That is such a huge and undermined accomplishment that we’re conditioned to be afraid to talk about.

For what? Because men think they have to be the providers in a relationship? We’re a new generation now, and we both have to have our own grinds and collaboratively contribute. And he should be proud of you for that, too.

If you’re a strong woman with ambition and goals, don’t sit around quietly and only discuss your dreams with your partner. Share it with your friends and family — people who will encourage and support you.

Just because he doesn’t feel comfortable with you breaking boundaries doesn’t mean you have to restrict yourself.

Do what you’ve been dying to do to give yourself a rush of fulfillment and excitement you’ve never felt before.

If you just celebrated a milestone or experienced a new level of success, celebrate that with the world! Don’t downplay it, explode with pride and joy instead! Chances are you may not experience such an accomplishment again or for a long time, so take advantage and be proud of yourself.

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If your boyfriend isn’t supporting you through that journey or doesn’t recognize how hard you’ve worked for it, educate him. It’s okay to brag from time to time because you’re proud of yourself and all the effort and work you’ve put in.

RELATED: In A World That Is Often Dark, Be The Light That People Need

If you are really confident in the outfit you chose to wear for any occasion and a boy has the audacity to tell you to change or belittles you, walk out that front door and show him that you have every reason to be feeling yourself.

He should be happy other men are going to look at their stunningly sexy and confident woman. Just because he doesn’t like it, doesn’t mean you have to be someone you aren’t and can’t express yourself physically either.

And if your man feels emasculated that you work hard, have a great social circle, are ambitious, have goals and are working your butt off to accomplish all of your goals, then he doesn’t deserve you.

A man would never, ever hold you back or make you feel like you have to hide your excellence from the world.

As women, there’s such an emphasis on being silent and polite about things. We aren’t allowed to brag about our successes or vocalize conflicting opinions with our partners in front of other people. It’s deemed unladylike and rude.

But times have freaking changed. We should be flaunting what we have and be damn proud of ourselves for all that we do. And men need to recognize that more often and not get butt-hurt every time we accomplish something.

I hate seeing women having to hold themselves back or feeling embarrassed about their success just because of an insecure person.

So ladies, let your light shine bright and encourage other women to do the same. Because this type of energy is infectious and we need to be proud of the queens we are.

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Brittany Christopoulos is a writer, journalist and fill-in TV co-host. She's a Senior Writer and Head of Trending News for Unwritten. Follow her on Twitter.

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This article was originally published at Unwritten. Reprinted with permission from the author.