5 Songs Every ’80s Kid Loved That We Only Now Realize Had Very Adult Meanings
melissamn | Shutterstock I rocked out to these 80s songs between the ages of 3 and 8 — with the full encouragement of the adults around me (well, all songs except for one) — only to hear them again as an adult and say to myself, “Wait. What?!" So without further ado, let us embark on a tour of the confusion that 80s music lulled kids like me into.
Back then, every 80s kid knew every word to the chorus but had no clue what the lyrics were really about. Listening now, it's hard not to laugh (or cringe) at how many very adult themes slipped right past us, hiding in plain sight inside songs we once thought were totally innocent.
Here are 5 songs every ’80s kid loved that we only now realize had very adult meanings:
1. Physical by Olivia Newton-John (1981)
Oh, Olivia Newton-John, Sandra Dee in Grease. So sweet. So wholesome. So raunchy, apparently. You can set this video in a gym and act like the “physical” they are getting into is about exercise all you want, but, in my experience, if a trainer demands that you, “Let (them) hear your body talk,” it’s time to either file a harassment complaint or check to see if you have wandered into of one those late night adults-only movies.
When I was four years old, this was my jam! My mom would crank it in the car for me, and an oft-repeated story in my family is the tale of the time my brother’s Catholic school (be prepared, Catholic schools feature heavily in this post) had a talent show, and one group got up and sang this song. My mom apparently unleashed me into the aisle of the auditorium, where I proceeded to rock out with my socks out.
2. Little Red Corvette by Prince (1983)
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Cars, horses, music — kids like all of these things!! Add the fact that I became aware of this song around the time my mother started dating the man who would become my stepfather. He drove a fly Trans Am (work with me folks, it was the 80s), and you have the recipe for me eternally and happily linking this song to the mom and stepdad I love dearly.
I hadn't heard it for years until it came on one day while I was grocery shopping. Cut to me standing in the cereal aisle, going, “Wait. She had a full pocket of what? Some were used?! He’s not talking about horses! He’s not talking about a car at all!” So now a song about a one-night stand with a promiscuous woman — the titular Little Red Corvette. Why don’t men ever liken me to cars? Sigh — reminds me of my parents. Awkward.
3. She Bop by Cyndi Lauper (1984)
Let’s not beat around the bush (seriously, no pun intended). This song is about touching yourself. Lauper has been quoted as saying her intention was for the song to read as being about dancing to younger listeners who would realize its real meaning when they got older. Mission accomplished.
At my Catholic school kindergarten graduation, a girl got up and danced to this song. Yeah, that happened. There were nuns at this event. Children recited prayers and poems. And, obviously, a 6-year-old rocked a solo routine to a song about self-love. What’s more, it inspired my mom to enroll me in dance classes. So now my childhood sounds like an episode of Toddlers and Tiaras.
4. Pour Some Sugar On Me by Def Leppard (1987)
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The summer after Hysteria came out, my cousin was obsessed with the album, and his sister and I were both taking dance classes (as inspired by "She Bop" girl). This resulted in a lot of impromptu “rock shows” in the driveway that consisted of my brother and male cousin lip-synching this song while my female cousin and I danced around. Some of the lyrics our brothers emoted to while we gyrated included:
"You gotta squeeze a little, squeeze a little, tease a little more
Easy operator come a knockin’ on my door
Sometime, anytime, sugar me sweet
Little Miss Innocent Sugar Me, yeah, yeah."
Looking back, all that was missing was the go-go cages. Sometimes this would happen at large family gatherings. You know, so our grandparents could clap for us. Because, of course. Thankfully, they refrained from throwing money.
5. Push It by Salt-N-Pepa (1987)
As I mentioned above, there was just one song I didn’t have adult support in my misunderstanding of, and this is it. When the women of Salt-N-Pepa demand that someone “Push it good,” they are making their intentions pretty clear. And in case there’s any confusion, they throw in this clue: “Can’t you hear the music’s pumpin’ hard like I wish you would?”
Again, though, I was 8 and clueless, and whenever I heard this song, I pictured people pushing large boxes around. (I am not even kidding about that.) So there I was, in 3rd grade, singing in the lunchroom, “Push it, push it good!...” And then there I was in the principal’s office.
Here’s the thing. No one would tell me what I had done wrong! The principal called my mom in and ordered me to tell her what had happened, so I did and waited for her to be as confused as I was. Instead, she said, “JoEllen, that’s disgusting!” What she didn’t do was explain why or how. A few days later, a classmate explained that the song was about making love.
Now that I’m examining my attitudes towards intimacy, I’m seeing how experiences like this really do shape kids. I had done something so “disgusting” no one would talk about it, and I hadn’t even realized it. Getting it on suddenly seemed really dangerous — like I could get in big trouble without even knowing I was doing anything wrong.
JoEllen Notte is a writer, speaker, researcher, and author. She has been featured in The Daily Dot, AlterNet, Powell's Books Blog, and more.
