9 Rare Qualities Of An Emotionally Intense Woman Who's Complex To Love, According To Psychology
She feels deeply and thinks endlessly.
Pheelings Media | Canva We’ve all heard jokes about women who don’t know what they want or whose wishes or desires contradict one another. An emotionally complex woman may have intricacies that seem contradictory to a lazy or uninformed observer but require a man who knows and loves her enough to see, understand, and most importantly, appreciate them.
With an emotionally complex woman, there are layers upon layers of thought and identity. To love her is to learn the layers, understand how deep they go, internalize them, and grasp them intuitively.
Here are the rare qualities of an emotionally intense woman who's complex to love:
1. She may be hesitant to be vulnerable
While cynicism may be off-putting to some, an emotionally intense woman uses it as a way to protect herself from being disappointed. This type of woman tends to be doubtful of people's intentions and, as such, is hesitant to be vulnerable. However, an emotionally intense woman must learn that most people are inherently good, and while she doesn't need to trust others completely, there's no harm in giving people a chance.
2. She's bold in her decision-making
Perfect Wave / Shutterstock
For the emotionally intense woman, decision-making is all about her needs, especially about what she wants to eat and wear. A romantic partner may enjoy seeing her in a tank top, but she might prefer to wear a sweater.
She's incredibly bold with what she wants and doesn't exactly welcome the opinions of others, particularly those she's closest to, like a spouse or a family member. This makes her come off as controlling, but it all stems from self-reliance.
3. She's independent
Whether it's making her own money, enjoying her alone time, or planning for the future, emotionally intense women are often very independent. She prides herself on not having to rely on anyone except herself — to the point where she may end up pushing others away.
The perception of an independent woman as complex stems from societal expectations, internal conflicts, and the challenges of navigating relationships with both men and women. A 2022 study explained that this complexity can manifest in how an independent woman views her own needs and relationships, and how she interacts with others who may have different expectations.
While she does things on her own time, there is such a thing as being too independent. And to have a more fulfilling life, she should also focus on opening up to others and building trust, instead of hiding from what she fears might happen.
4. She has overprotective friends
An emotionally intense woman may be hard to deal with sometimes, but she is the company she keeps, meaning her friends are also kind of finicky. They are very similar to her and act as both a support system and a sounding board of sorts.
She keeps her friend group small, as they know all her deepest desires and secrets. As such, they may not warm up to others quickly, including a romantic partner. Any potential mate should know that they are seen as a potential threat, which may kill the chances of being with her.
5. She wants you to express your feelings
This is probably the hardest thing about loving an emotionally intense woman. She wants you to be expressive with how you feel, communicating what you need and want. After all, being open is an essential trait of any healthy relationship. It may feel uncomfortable, as she might not exactly want to be vulnerable in turn. But the fact that you can share your innermost thoughts and feelings proves to her that you're genuine and caring.
6. But she may hold her own emotions deep inside
Despite wanting her romantic partner to express themselves, an emotionally intense woman won't necessarily return the favor. She prefers to hold her emotions in, keeping a stoic and composed outward appearance.
Socially, a contextual study found that there are often expectations on women to suppress certain emotions, like anger, while simultaneously being expected to express emotions like sadness or fear. Biologically, hormonal fluctuations and brain chemistry play a role in emotional experience, and some women may be more sensitive to these shifts. Past experiences, coping mechanisms, and cultural influences can also contribute to a woman's unique emotional expression and regulation.
But it's not because she doesn't want to grow closer; it's just her protecting herself as a result of past hurts. Be sure to approach her with patience, understanding that it's just a coping mechanism and that, deep down, she's taking her time in feeling safe enough to share with you.
7. She keeps her past slightly mysterious
For many people, letting go of the past is extremely tough. And one of the most glaring signs of an emotionally intense woman is her inability to overcome her hardships and trauma from the past. That means she may often hide details from that time.
Fearing judgment and being vulnerable, she wants things to remain private, which is completely understandable. However, it can hinder her chances of maintaining a healthy relationship that's fully transparent. It's best for her romantic partner to gently encourage her to open up, creating a deeper understanding.
8. She demands respect
When she calls someone, she expects a return call almost instantly. When that person doesn't call back for days, and then extends a call, she may have already decided to cut ties with them. That's because an emotionally intense woman demands respect, and acting this way is, to her, rude.
The tendency to value immediate rewards more highly than delayed rewards is a fundamental aspect of human decision-making and can be influenced by factors like the magnitude of the reward and the length of the delay. A 2015 study suggested that a woman's preference for immediate gratification is a multifaceted phenomenon influenced by a combination of personality traits, emotional state, environmental factors, and processes related to decision-making and the pursuit of pleasure.
9. She's an amazing person
Loving an emotionally intense woman may come with a few roadblocks, but the truth is that the most obvious sign of an emotionally intense woman is just how wonderful she is. Despite the complexities of her personality and the challenges she faces, she has a depth of character.
She's resilient, loyal, determined, and strong — all incredible qualities that make her stand out. Though loving her may be a challenge, it's important to recognize her strengths, embrace her for who she is, and create a truly meaningful connection with this exceptional woman in your life.
Alex Alexander is a pseudonym for a writer who chose not to have their identity disclosed. The author is known to the YourTango editors.
