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This request is way out of line.
By Isaac Serna-Diez — Written on Dec 24, 2021
A woman on the popular Reddit thread, “Am I The A--hole,” asked some internet acquaintances whether or not she was, well, the a--hole for not letting her ex’s girlfriend wear her wedding dress for their upcoming wedding.
AITA is a place for any Redditor to ask complete strangers about their unique situation and get their opinions on whether they’re “Not the A--hole” (NTA) or if they are the a--hole — by saying “You’re the A--hole” (YTA).
This woman has a falling out with her ex’s girlfriend after refusing to give her wedding dress to her
User u/Forward-Habit8890 — we’ll refer to her as Habit — talks about her odd relationship with her ex, referred to as K, and his girlfriend, who is referred to as G, and how she’s gotten herself into troubled waters.
“I (35F) have been divorced from my (41M) husband for 3 years. We have one son (5) together,” she started. “K and I have a great relationship with each other. We still love each other as friends. K started dating G about 10 months ago. G and I have become really great friends and enjoy being around each other.”
Everything was going well — even though some people in the comments were definitely confused about this weird triangle. Habit says she chooses to still be friends with her ex because its the best way to co-parent their five-year-old son.
However, recently K and G started talking about marriage and getting married — which K is hesitant about but G has moved forward with the plans anyway.
“I guess G saw some old pictures of me in my wedding dress and has been raving about how pretty my dress is,” Habit explained.
“The other day we had coffee together and G brought up getting married soon. I told her how happy I was for her. Things changed though when she asked if she could wear MY wedding dress.”
Habit expressed her shock at the fact that G would even ask that and very obviously refused to let her wear the wedding dress that she wore while getting married to the very same man.
“She immediately got extremely pouty and started to ask why,” she continued. “I explained that I just wasn’t comfortable with her wearing my dress to marry my ex-husband. She got really upset and started to cause a scene. I walked out knowing that she was not going to calm down.”
The woman then received a call from her ex, and once she explained the situation, he was on her side completely, but things only got worse.
“G has been having her friends and family call me and my work calling me an asshole for not ‘sharing,’” she said. “G is claiming that I’m not over K and that I’m just doing this to ruin her wedding. While it’s true that I’m not over K, part of me just doesn’t feel comfortable having her wear my dress.”
Habit said that this is putting a strain on her relationship with K and making it harder for them to co-parent their son — even debating whether or not she should just give in and let her wear it.
Habit didn’t need to post this on the internet for a bunch of strangers to figure out that she’s NTA, but nevertheless, everyone sides with her and found G to be very odd.
“How can people be this weird?” said one user. “It’s honestly creepy that she wants to use your dress,” said another.
Another user by the name of u/alge1547 expressed that he’s in a similar situation — with a five-year-old son ad everything — but on the side of the ex-husband.
“If my partner even began to ask something like this I would shut it down immediately, because it would be upsetting to my ex and really disrespectful of our previous relationship,” he said.
“I love her completely and she makes me happy in a way my relationship with the ex never would, but that doesn't mean she gets to disrespect my wedding and marriage to the mother of my first child, hell no. Also it's just WEIRD.”
Hopefully, Habit reads all of these messages and can get through to K for the sake of their son, but she’s definitely NTA here, G and her friends and family are.
Isaac Serna-Diez is a writer who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics. Follow him on Twitter here.