Woman Says Parents Shouldn't Make Kids Babysit Siblings Unless You're Willing To Pay Them — 'Your Kids Are Not Free Labor’
She says kids are not there to be your maid, nanny, or cook.
@asheraseven/TikTok The subject of who should be watching your children while you are working or taking a much-needed break is the subject of much debate. Some grandparents want to be paid to babysit their grandchildren, while siblings believe your kids are not their responsibility, even if they live in your home rent-free.
But the biggest source of contention is around how much responsibility older siblings should have in the care of their younger brothers or sisters. Some might not be responsible enough for the role, some kids outright reject the idea of babysitting, and on the flip side, there are parents who believe their kids have a duty to help out and refuse to compensate them for it.
One woman tells parents not to make kids babysit unless they agree and are paid.
A TikToker who goes by the name "@asheraseven," or Shera, known for her signature catchphrase, “Sprinkle, sprinkle,” has her own opinion about parents making their kids “do what they don’t even want to do.” Her video was reposted on an account called "Feminineclips" and has been liked almost 44,000 times.
The video starts with her saying, “Don’t give your kids your job. I’ll repeat this. Stop giving your kids adult jobs that you’re supposed to be doing”. She goes on to say that parents should avoid making their children stay-at-home nannies or babysitters, cooks, or maids.
The woman, who regularly dishes out relationship advice believes that kids should be asked, not told, to babysit and their response should be respected. She also believes that if your son or daughter does agree to take care of their younger siblings, they should be compensated.
“I don’t agree with forcing children to do something that you can’t even do,” Shera tells viewers, reiterating that cooking, cleaning, and babysitting should be optional and paid work. She backs up her opinion by tying the autonomy of kids to make their own choices and the compensation they receive to a high sense of value and knowing their worth.
Speaking from the point-of-view of an older child charged with babysitting for their parents, she says, “I am worth it! If I’m going to do anything, I want to be compensated or asked and given the choice”. The video ends with a final word from the outspoken unofficial relationship guru, “Kids are not free labor.”
People in the comments were quick to celebrate Shera’s welcome advice for moms and dads.
The first commenter said, “Damn. Now she’s giving out excellent parenting advice. What can’t Shera do?”
Others agreed with what she said about making young people see the value in themselves. One person posted, “ESPECIALLY DAUGHTERS. Don’t teach them to be an indentured servant to others,” while another woman said, “Sprinkle, sprinkle on that, and I don’t even have kids.”
Shera knows what she is talking about. Studies have shown that not only does making older kids take on responsibility for the younger ones hamper their childhood, but it’s also not fair to them. They may not have even matured physically, mentally, or emotionally enough to handle caring for others. Even a teen who is still growing and learning cannot be expected to keep a child safe over long periods of time.
The American Academy of Pediatricians sets the minimum age to leave a child alone for more than four hours at 12, and even then, the pre-teen’s interest in babysitting should be considered. Short trial runs should be completed to make sure that the child is equipped and ready to watch other kids.
Interestingly, there are costs and benefits to "sibling caretaking." On the positive side, it builds confidence, responsibility, and good traits that impact success in the future. Kids who take care of their younger siblings can learn new perspectives and develop a higher level of social understanding. Then there are the benefits to the entire family when the parent can work or attend other activities without worrying about childcare.
Now for the negative aspects of leaving little ones with a big brother or sister… Caring for siblings can hinder adolescents from other experiences that may be important to their development. This includes things like studying, working in an area of interest, volunteering, extracurriculars, and recreational activities. Girls and children in economically disadvantaged families carry a disproportionate burden in the care of siblings.
Many parents face a lack of available or affordable childcare and using their older children to help is done out of necessity. Even in those situations, it’s important that we consider the ramifications and balance their time spent helping out with directed attention and the space to also do the things they love and need for their own personal development.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington. She covers lifestyle, relationship, and human-interest stories that readers can relate to and that bring social issues to the forefront for discussion.