Woman Claims Self-Love Is 'For Ugly People' Because Hot People 'Intimidate' Others, & Some Think She Has A Point

She made an interesting point—but called everyone ugly while doing it.

TikToker claiming self-love is for ugly people TikTok

Self-love, body positivity, "radical self-acceptance"—these buzz phrases are everywhere on social media and in our culture nowadays. And one woman on TikTok has had enough, because she says when it comes to social media, she's not allowed to feel good about herself because she's just too hot for all that.

A woman on TikTok claims pretty people aren't allowed to express self-love online.

We still have a long way to go, but our cultural shift toward acceptance of diverse appearances and body types is spreading. The plus-size modeling industry, for instance, has seen massive growth in recent years, and musical artists like Lizzo and Sam Smith have mainstreamed the previously taboo notion of being both sexy and overtly sexual in a larger body.


But TikToker Sahar Khorram, known as @sistalkswithsahar on the app, says this shift has brought a new taboo in its wake, one in which conventionally attractive people are slammed for expressing the same sort of confidence that is applauded in people who don't fit the standards.

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The TikToker says self-love is 'for ugly people' because people online are intimidated by attractive people like her.

"Y'all have reserved self-love for ugly people," Khommar says. "Because God forbid, an actual attractive person realizes that they're attractive and posts about it and is confident. You all don't like that."


You don't have to look too hard to see the trend of people who don't fit the usual beauty standards expressing their self-love on social media. From people with physical disabilities doing "outfit of the day" fashion posts to fat acceptance advocates modeling their bikinis and all sorts of other trends that defy previously accepted boundaries, many people are refusing to accept the previous order that says you must be thin—and ideally white—to be worthy of acceptance, let alone lust or love. 

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But Khommar posits that this is all empty posturing. "You all want ugly people to love themselves because it doesn't intimidate you," she said. "But God forbid, a b-tch who actually looks better than you knows that she looks better than you."


The TikToker's claim sparked a debate about 'pretty privilege,' and many people agreed with her.

The notion of "pretty privilege" is nothing new, and there's plenty of data to back up that conventionally attractive people have it easier in life, from getting better jobs and making more money to even being found not guilty more often in criminal cases. 

But there's just as much data that shows that "pretty privilege" comes with an underbelly, including a higher incidence of bullying both as a child and in the workplace as an adult. And many conventionally attractive woman report feeling that way socially too like the woman in the TikTok below who says being considered pretty is often an "isolating" experience.



Even I must admit when I see conventionally attractive people on social media posting photos and videos about "body acceptance" and self-love I instantly scroll, often exasperatedly muttering something along the lines of "Oh shut the fu-k up" at my screen before hurling my phone at the wall in a rage. But is that actually fair?


The simple fact of the matter is that nobody escapes being insulted or rejected or being made to feel less-than at some point in their life, no matter how attractive they are. After all, the entire multi-billion-dollar beauty industry is based on making even conventionally attractive people anxious that they're not good enough so they'll buy products that purport to make them less so. Is it really wrong for them to celebrate themselves too? 

But Khommar's claim that self-love is only allowable for "ugly" people is, of course, itself ugly. And that is part of why her video majorly upset some people off. 

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Many felt that the TikToker's video was cruel and accused of her of being insecure. 

"To imply somebody else is ugly makes you part of the problem," TikTok creator @yonickyscorpio said in response to Khommar's video. And he thinks her entire screed is just a projection.




"The real frustration you have is you're insecure," he went on to say. "Because if you were secure, you wouldn't need to address this." He acknowledged that Khommar, like most of us, has likely had difficulties in life, and it may be frustrating to find a lack of acceptance online sometimes.

"But to imply that someone is unattractive? According to who?" he went on to say, citing how heavier women were the conventional beauty standard in many periods in history as thinness meant a lower social class that did physical labor. "Skinny people like yourself would have been given sticks of butter to fatten yourselves up because [you'd be considered] unattractive," he continued. "Are you offended now?"

Another TikToker pointed out that Khommar's claim doesn't even hold water since unconventionally attractive people who do post about "self-love" or body positivity are mercilessly trolled for doing so.




"They are put down constantly," TikToker @bittertobetter said, "because society doesn't feel they deserve to love themselves or have confidence." Or as @yonickyscorpio put it in his response to Khommar, "the real problem is you're talking to people who have trauma" from being considered less-than for most of their lives.

In the end, the truth probably lies somewhere in the middle. Being alive is basically a nightmare from start to finish, and none of us escapes unscathed no matter how much privilege we have. So any moment anyone can find to feel good about themselves should be applauded.

Still, claiming self-love is for ugly people? Come on. "Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" was coined in 1878 for God's sake. We all know better by now.


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John Sundholm is a news and entertainment writer who covers pop culture, social justice and human interest topics.