Mom Announces Son's Death By Suicide On Twitter While Medics Are Still In Her Home, Prompting Debate
Is there a right way to grieve?
Rawpixel.com / Shutterstock / Twitter Everyone reacts differently to losing a loved one, no matter the circumstance.
Most people get sad or even depressed, angry that the world took someone they love. They try their best to put on a brave face for those around them, or sometimes even laugh to try and hold onto and cherish those good memories and celebrate their lives.
One mom, however, shared her son’s passing on Twitter and sparked a lot of debate.
Nana The Big Bird Lady (@BigBirdFamily on Twitter) posted a tweet at 8:29 a.m. on April 3rd, 2022 about her son’s passing that caused a lot of people to lash out at her.
“My son just blew his head off, the police and ambulance are here. I'm numb,” read the tweet.
Any initial reaction would not surprise me, especially if you thought it was far too blunt, callous, rude, disrespectful, or what have you.
However, once you look past that initial shock from the tweet, you have to put into perspective what’s being talked about here and not look at whatever face value takes people might have.
Twitter users criticized the grieving mom for her comments about her son's suicide.
“And Twitter is the first thing you thought about? Why are people like this?” read one critical reply, “Good thing you shared it on Twitter,” read another.
But what these people don’t realize is that they’re the ones that are wildly insensitive.
What they don’t understand is that her cold delivery is indicative of exactly the place she’s in, even taking care in mentioning that she’s “numb.”
When tragedy strikes, the initial shock will get everyone. For some, it turns into denial, sadness, anger, and grief, but for some, it hurts so much that the shock doesn’t go away.
Sometimes it leaves you “numb.”
Spiritual Life Coach Keya Murthy tells us that, for some, using social media as an outlet is the only way they can process complicated emotions.
"Sometimes social media is the only place a person has to share their stories. Also, social media is a place that family and friends (old and new) use to stay in touch with each other," she says.
"When you are grieving you need someone to hear you, and today social media provides you with an outlet for letting your world know what’s going on with you."
Fortunately, Nana has the love and support of everyone on Twitter, receiving over 17 thousand likes and nearly one thousand retweets, people are pouring in to share their thoughts and sympathies.
“I'm so, so incredibly sorry for your loss,” wrote Taylor Lorenz, a Washington Post columnist. “People on this website are vicious and cruel, just know there are so many more of us sending your family love and healing. I can't imagine your pain.”
Dr. Brian Walker, a member of the Western Australia Parliament, replied “I feel your pain. My son ended his life one month ago. My sincere condolences. The pain you feel is a badge of love, watered by tears.”
Nana addressed some of the comments that were negative, despite all of the positive feedback she was receiving, where she apologized for the way her original tweet sounded.
“Sorry for coming off callous, I was screaming into the void,” she wrote. “My son was a wonderful person and I am struggling with this loss. Don't judge a mother that is in more pain [than] you could imagine.”
Despite her best efforts, there were still a select few who didn’t have anything nice to say, but a reassuring many continued to show her empathy and offered her kind words.
As Murthy explains, "Some people like to talk about their stuff right away to initiate the processing of their emotions. Others want to process first before they speak out. Both are right in their own way."
“Do not apologize. You have just suffered an unimaginable loss,” said someone in reply. “You are still in shock. My heartfelt sympathies to you and your husband for the loss of your beloved son.”
No one else is allowed to tell you how you should and shouldn’t grieve. For some people, seeking out support from strangers on the internet is just the way to do it.
Isaac Serna-Diez is a writer who focuses on entertainment and news, social justice, and politics. Follow him on Twitter.